last night when i was on the phone with Sarah and she mentioned how half the time i'm always talking about my company and how irritated i am about things there. i realized it's so damn true, i have no outside life anymore (not like i had one before, anyways), my mind is constantly thinking of what i am going thru in this hell hole and how i can jump ship or change the way things are. sigh, so sad.
on the other hand it does keep my mind off things which are far more worst than job satisfaction and money.
when i finished my studies i promised myself i wanted to work in my first job, minimum for atleast a year, no matter how conditions were. sorry to have gone back on my decision but if i don't do this i know i'll become another donkey pulling the cart of mortal life, i know i am destened for greatness and by god i will achieve it (ofcourse first i have to know what is it i want to achieve?).
you know its times like this when i miss my childhood the most, damn those fantastic good old days. growing up i had one of the best childhood a man could possible ask for, showered with love and pampered with gifts and toys. i still remember when i was like 5 years old i had a room filled with toys. didn't matter if i didn't pick my toys up, cause the entire room was literally filled with toys. i had like a gezillion matchbox cars, my fav was Lego. damn i miss building stuff out of Lego. me and my brother had gone bored out of building the stuff on the box, we'd use the parts and build something with our own design, suped up ofcourse, hehaehaheha...
my creative mind is being killed off here and i can't let them take away the one thing that is the most valuable to me, my mind. now seriously, i'm thinking, even if they do offer me something that i am satisfied with, and i do (for some unforsaken reason) decide to stay on, what will be my co-workers perception on me? is it worth it? am i going to be happy? will i be treated the same way?
in my life i have gained a lot and i have lost a lot, like they say, 'you count your losses and move on' or 'stay back and cry over spilled milk' and when someone reaches the stage of choosing between the two routes, it's hell i tell you, hell. even though we know which one is the wiser choice, GGAWWDDDD it's hell.
here's to a great childhood *raising my mineral water bottle.
later...
2 comments:
Dei dude, feel happy that u r orite there. people around u, parents n evrythg. dont worry bout jobs. u r good. better than others. cheer up buddy
thanks dude...
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