everybody is familiar with friendster these days, right? you know how the have your status and how you can choose whether or not you are single or divorced. my favorite is the 'it's complicated' choice. but i need to get one better...maybe friendster can add 'it's fucked up'...or 'fuck that shit'.
tomorrow my dad is turning 60, happy birthday Dad.
i've got no mood tp blog anymore, maybe tomorrow...
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
grow a set
i wish everybody would grow a set of balls and just say what the fucking hell it is they wanna say!!! you have some message to convey to other put it in the exact words you actually want it to be heard and don't go all 'home deco' on your sentences, trying to make it all sound so nice and dandy as if you being nice. especially managers in Flextronics, yeah you bunch of bozos, if you are reading my blog i don't give a rats ass.
this is my blog and if i wanna dish out some genuine bitching phrased up in my own words, then it's my wish 'you fuck with me, then you're fucking with the best!'. already you guys got no balls to make decisions, causing us to do the fire fighting, no wanna go all noble and caring... bull'funky'shyte!!! no i seriously mean, every single one of them can kiss my brown ass.
you wanna tell me to shut the fuck up and do as you say, just come out and say it, least i'll respect the command you have over what the hell you want. don't come to me and say, it should be what i want to do as well. cause my name doesn't start with A.K. (ass kisser).
goodnight everyone and fuck you too...
p.s; not exactly going to bed but sounded more cooler to end that way.
this is my blog and if i wanna dish out some genuine bitching phrased up in my own words, then it's my wish 'you fuck with me, then you're fucking with the best!'. already you guys got no balls to make decisions, causing us to do the fire fighting, no wanna go all noble and caring... bull'funky'shyte!!! no i seriously mean, every single one of them can kiss my brown ass.
you wanna tell me to shut the fuck up and do as you say, just come out and say it, least i'll respect the command you have over what the hell you want. don't come to me and say, it should be what i want to do as well. cause my name doesn't start with A.K. (ass kisser).
goodnight everyone and fuck you too...
p.s; not exactly going to bed but sounded more cooler to end that way.
Monday, April 23, 2007
leave???
the thought of leaving the country....?! and why not?
one reason why i should pack and leave again, just one is all i ask for (and the guy who comes up to me and says family is gonna get his balls clipped off)
one reason why i should pack and leave again, just one is all i ask for (and the guy who comes up to me and says family is gonna get his balls clipped off)
Friday, April 20, 2007
Eyes wide closed
my GM has started of his blog and has been sending out invites to read his blog, i wonder if i should do the same? heahehaeha...and for the past few day my blog was a restricted website. am i competetion?
i wish i get to sleep more, this insomnia is killing me. last night i went home and though i could sleep there but didn't work, whether i'm in Subang or Melawati it doesn't make a difference. i haven't slept since last night and just came to work at 5.30am! i look like shit and i can feel my eyes being swollen. it's weird how every year without fail i get this. it stays for about 3 months or so and then it goes. i have not had it ever since i started working last dec, till now that is. it was so much easier during college days.
my boss is being quite, i mean quite understandin about it, lets see how far i can hold this up or till my body fades out. i prefer working flexible hours, i come in, do my thing and leave within the required working hours. shyte man..Flextronics is not Flexible, even though their new tag line is Fast and Flexible.
i've always wondered everytime i blog, especially about stuff like this whether i can get sued? it is my blog and i'm entitled to say whatever i want but ofcourse we're talking about letting internal information and stuff. i mean it's not like i'm letting out confidential stuff but you know? can i get sued for defamation? wait the fuck minute?! do i really give a shit, you wanna sue, for what? i'm broke....
i wanna sleeeeeeep...!!!
i wish i get to sleep more, this insomnia is killing me. last night i went home and though i could sleep there but didn't work, whether i'm in Subang or Melawati it doesn't make a difference. i haven't slept since last night and just came to work at 5.30am! i look like shit and i can feel my eyes being swollen. it's weird how every year without fail i get this. it stays for about 3 months or so and then it goes. i have not had it ever since i started working last dec, till now that is. it was so much easier during college days.
my boss is being quite, i mean quite understandin about it, lets see how far i can hold this up or till my body fades out. i prefer working flexible hours, i come in, do my thing and leave within the required working hours. shyte man..Flextronics is not Flexible, even though their new tag line is Fast and Flexible.
i've always wondered everytime i blog, especially about stuff like this whether i can get sued? it is my blog and i'm entitled to say whatever i want but ofcourse we're talking about letting internal information and stuff. i mean it's not like i'm letting out confidential stuff but you know? can i get sued for defamation? wait the fuck minute?! do i really give a shit, you wanna sue, for what? i'm broke....
i wanna sleeeeeeep...!!!
Monday, April 16, 2007
(can't think of a title)
i dunno what's worst, suffering from insomnia and not being able to sleep or thinking about something thats not gonna happen the whole time i'm awake?
okay, before all that....
not exactly what i'd call a perfect Grand Prix weekend. dispite the fact that Massa drove (according to Steve Slater) a champions race i still think both Ferraris' had (and have) the pace to obliterate their rivals but both drivers' seem to be in a phase where by whatever they get seems to be enough for them, correct me if i am wrong (Formula One Fans)?
i mean is there no hunger to gun down the car infront of you anymore? putting aside the fact that your engine has to last the next race in Barcelona, putting aside the fact that the last stint of the race was run on hard compound tyres, putting aside the fact you are nursing some sort of technical disadvantage, (i can go on and on) but putting aside all these factors i saw a more gutsy drive from David Coulthard in the entire race then any other drive on the track. which puts validation to my allegation that is no more character left in the sport. lucky for us very few there was one brave soul willing to take the risk (in style), Nick Heidfeld taking on Alonso on the outside but even that i'm willing to put heavy money on Alonso not wanting to have a dog fight on his hands.
back to routine bitching...
when was the last i watched a chinese movie? some fire monkey movie with Ric in 1997 if i'm not mistaken. well i just spent my night by watching one, the actress had a pretty face (thats all i'll say about it).
sunday was a Sarah's graduation and no one else even say a word. it was at Shang KL. i must say though i remember Shang being bigger somehow but then again can't remember why. anyways it always help to have someone who has put on the robe before doesn't it. having graduated before i always wondered whats the big deal about graduation day. i had a big sigh of releaf on my graduation day even though it wasn't really a tough to get through. but it was nice to have your name being called out and you get the small aunce of recognition, i guess.
anyways,
tomorrow is back to work. i tell you if i had a penny for everytime we had an indecisive situation cause by management, i'd buy Queensland by now. the phrase 'Line them up and give me a badge and gun' comes to mind but when you are an engineer, shit comes in all sort of shade and form. suck it up and live with it (of course until you promoted into a manager and become a rootcouse to the shit yourself).
okay, before all that....
not exactly what i'd call a perfect Grand Prix weekend. dispite the fact that Massa drove (according to Steve Slater) a champions race i still think both Ferraris' had (and have) the pace to obliterate their rivals but both drivers' seem to be in a phase where by whatever they get seems to be enough for them, correct me if i am wrong (Formula One Fans)?
i mean is there no hunger to gun down the car infront of you anymore? putting aside the fact that your engine has to last the next race in Barcelona, putting aside the fact that the last stint of the race was run on hard compound tyres, putting aside the fact you are nursing some sort of technical disadvantage, (i can go on and on) but putting aside all these factors i saw a more gutsy drive from David Coulthard in the entire race then any other drive on the track. which puts validation to my allegation that is no more character left in the sport. lucky for us very few there was one brave soul willing to take the risk (in style), Nick Heidfeld taking on Alonso on the outside but even that i'm willing to put heavy money on Alonso not wanting to have a dog fight on his hands.
back to routine bitching...
when was the last i watched a chinese movie? some fire monkey movie with Ric in 1997 if i'm not mistaken. well i just spent my night by watching one, the actress had a pretty face (thats all i'll say about it).
sunday was a Sarah's graduation and no one else even say a word. it was at Shang KL. i must say though i remember Shang being bigger somehow but then again can't remember why. anyways it always help to have someone who has put on the robe before doesn't it. having graduated before i always wondered whats the big deal about graduation day. i had a big sigh of releaf on my graduation day even though it wasn't really a tough to get through. but it was nice to have your name being called out and you get the small aunce of recognition, i guess.
anyways,
tomorrow is back to work. i tell you if i had a penny for everytime we had an indecisive situation cause by management, i'd buy Queensland by now. the phrase 'Line them up and give me a badge and gun' comes to mind but when you are an engineer, shit comes in all sort of shade and form. suck it up and live with it (of course until you promoted into a manager and become a rootcouse to the shit yourself).
Thursday, April 12, 2007
1980....
maybe i'm not being understood or maybe i'm not understanding people?
i know i'm not being totally honest with myself and others. there are some i wanna share my feelings with but can't, then there are some i wanna tell off but i can't either. i wanna cry but can't either. i know these days i've become very paranoid. i question myself more and more these days, i question my motives, i questions other people's motives to the minuscule of possibilities.
i'm over reacting, i'm over imagining things. i've become to a stage where i don't really trust anyone. each time someone says something, i shake my head but often ask myself if this person is telling me the truth.
i dunno why but today i have the guts to say this, i think i'm in love but i'm afraid with someone who doesn't love me at all. i dunno but i'm afraid that i'm going to crash abd burn like i did before this time i don't have tears left. i believe once again, i'm falling into a depression but i know i can't allow this to happen. the first signs are already here, i'm tired, not sleepy at night. i think about her all the time and lose concertration on what i'm suppose to be doing. and worst still i can't face up to her and tell her.. the story of my life....
i know i'm not being totally honest with myself and others. there are some i wanna share my feelings with but can't, then there are some i wanna tell off but i can't either. i wanna cry but can't either. i know these days i've become very paranoid. i question myself more and more these days, i question my motives, i questions other people's motives to the minuscule of possibilities.
i'm over reacting, i'm over imagining things. i've become to a stage where i don't really trust anyone. each time someone says something, i shake my head but often ask myself if this person is telling me the truth.
i dunno why but today i have the guts to say this, i think i'm in love but i'm afraid with someone who doesn't love me at all. i dunno but i'm afraid that i'm going to crash abd burn like i did before this time i don't have tears left. i believe once again, i'm falling into a depression but i know i can't allow this to happen. the first signs are already here, i'm tired, not sleepy at night. i think about her all the time and lose concertration on what i'm suppose to be doing. and worst still i can't face up to her and tell her.. the story of my life....
Monday, April 09, 2007
Any Given Sunday
undoubtedly the worst sunday i've ever had...
i dunno if i am just being paranoid but somehow the creepy feeling that i'm just being taken for a ride...the feeling that i'm just being used by people is just shadowing behind my shoulders. a voice inside of me says; 'give it up, fighting is futile'...
am i just being used? is that all i am worth to everyone? i tell myself that i will claw onto every inch of my dignity if i have to but if this is all i am worth, then what? how do i go forward from here? just let bygones be bygones?
enough about me...
anyone else care to comment on Formula One yesterday? all i'll say is; 'I MISS MICHAEL..!'
i dunno if i am just being paranoid but somehow the creepy feeling that i'm just being taken for a ride...the feeling that i'm just being used by people is just shadowing behind my shoulders. a voice inside of me says; 'give it up, fighting is futile'...
am i just being used? is that all i am worth to everyone? i tell myself that i will claw onto every inch of my dignity if i have to but if this is all i am worth, then what? how do i go forward from here? just let bygones be bygones?
enough about me...
anyone else care to comment on Formula One yesterday? all i'll say is; 'I MISS MICHAEL..!'
Friday, April 06, 2007
Smell the smoke and money...
couple weeks back when i met up with mohan we were talking about memories and one particular subject that we touched on was the memory of smell. i dunno if everyone gets this. a certain smell, a certain scent can trigger certain memories to just emerge out of you sub-conscious mind.
my Ex-girlfriend use to put on this very particular type of perfume and recently someone in the office has started using it and i tell you a sort of weird feeling pops up, like my stomach is gonna get inverted out. i really can explain it. but the feeling is definitely a sad one.
same goes, a couple of nights back when i went back home, my mom gave me this throw to use at night and this was the exact one i used when i was in UK. the smell of it, just triggered all the nights i spent there. sad ones and good ones, all at ones. this was even wierder i tell you.
which brings me to the very point of, you never really get over wounds, they never heal. they forever remain with you. in time you just get imune to it and move on. until something like this triggers the pain. like an old war wound that acts up during the winter (hehaehaehe, nope i don't have an old war wound. but i do have a 27 stitch long wound on my right arm and no, it doesn't act up [yet]).
okays...gotta get back to work.
p.s; something about work that i'm starting to enjoy it more, AND I WANT A RAISE!
my Ex-girlfriend use to put on this very particular type of perfume and recently someone in the office has started using it and i tell you a sort of weird feeling pops up, like my stomach is gonna get inverted out. i really can explain it. but the feeling is definitely a sad one.
same goes, a couple of nights back when i went back home, my mom gave me this throw to use at night and this was the exact one i used when i was in UK. the smell of it, just triggered all the nights i spent there. sad ones and good ones, all at ones. this was even wierder i tell you.
which brings me to the very point of, you never really get over wounds, they never heal. they forever remain with you. in time you just get imune to it and move on. until something like this triggers the pain. like an old war wound that acts up during the winter (hehaehaehe, nope i don't have an old war wound. but i do have a 27 stitch long wound on my right arm and no, it doesn't act up [yet]).
okays...gotta get back to work.
p.s; something about work that i'm starting to enjoy it more, AND I WANT A RAISE!
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Denial - Acceptance - Mourning - Recovery
the easiest stage of them all is Denial, cause in some sick twisted way you are happy.
but my particular favorite is Recovery. reason being it all depends on how well you Mourn. cause the mourning stage have lots of sub stages, there's the sad part, there's the anger part, there's the confused part, there's the happy it ended this way part, then there's the remorse part and slightest of deviations in the way you feel throughout the period could mean you get stuck on just one stage and never leave till it's time to more to Recovery. which in terms spell disaster for your next undertaking.
and sometimes i wonder if i Mourned well? because these days i noticed i've become a bigger bastard than i was way before and it's not a very nice feeling you get when you jerk'like hurt someone and go back feeling completely no remorse. i dunno much la but i always try as much not to hurt other people and you know what? these days i do, a lot, on purpose...
maybe i got stuck on anger during my Mourning? or maybe i haven't even finished mourning yet?
(ALARMS AND SIRENTS RING OUT>>CODE RED)
but my particular favorite is Recovery. reason being it all depends on how well you Mourn. cause the mourning stage have lots of sub stages, there's the sad part, there's the anger part, there's the confused part, there's the happy it ended this way part, then there's the remorse part and slightest of deviations in the way you feel throughout the period could mean you get stuck on just one stage and never leave till it's time to more to Recovery. which in terms spell disaster for your next undertaking.
and sometimes i wonder if i Mourned well? because these days i noticed i've become a bigger bastard than i was way before and it's not a very nice feeling you get when you jerk'like hurt someone and go back feeling completely no remorse. i dunno much la but i always try as much not to hurt other people and you know what? these days i do, a lot, on purpose...
maybe i got stuck on anger during my Mourning? or maybe i haven't even finished mourning yet?
(ALARMS AND SIRENTS RING OUT>>CODE RED)
Monday, April 02, 2007
The Author Guinness Tribute weekend
before i start just wanna give a shout out on behalf of James and Yoga;
"Prem, you bastard, you bastard, you bastard!!!"
it was nice to meet yp with James and Yoga last weekend. saturday was purely a good drink up day man. has anyone realize that a pint of Guinness is now 26bucks (the old Raj would have just paid). but it was all worth it man. it's pity that they don't have drought Guinness in Melacca and so Yoga and James have never tasted the vanilla like finger licking taste of the Guinness foam. in James' own words; 'it's like licking a tender pussy, balls!'
we went clubbing afterward and ended watching scene after scene of people provoking a fight and preliminary squabbles but no one person did fight. there was this girl who was yelling that a guy fondled her in the club and the boyfriend was yelling outside that he wants to bitch slap that bastard but he himself was falling all over the place. another bumped his head on a car after yelling too much and passed out, and another bunch of guys just shook hands after a lot of 'HEY'S tosed around.
we malaysian really need a lesson on how to club from the british. i've been clubbing there and i rarely saw fight. cause you know what they did after getting pissed drunk? they just puke and vandalize public property and end up spending the night in lock-up for a misdemeanour.
btw...
anyone watched football last weekend? Man Utd rocked man. well i kinda knew they'd take vengence on Blackburn for last year but my biggest match was Arsenal being gunned down by Liverpool 4-1. man that was hilarious. oh well you win some and then you lose some.
on a seperate note, Happy Birthday Thanes.
"Prem, you bastard, you bastard, you bastard!!!"
it was nice to meet yp with James and Yoga last weekend. saturday was purely a good drink up day man. has anyone realize that a pint of Guinness is now 26bucks (the old Raj would have just paid). but it was all worth it man. it's pity that they don't have drought Guinness in Melacca and so Yoga and James have never tasted the vanilla like finger licking taste of the Guinness foam. in James' own words; 'it's like licking a tender pussy, balls!'
we went clubbing afterward and ended watching scene after scene of people provoking a fight and preliminary squabbles but no one person did fight. there was this girl who was yelling that a guy fondled her in the club and the boyfriend was yelling outside that he wants to bitch slap that bastard but he himself was falling all over the place. another bumped his head on a car after yelling too much and passed out, and another bunch of guys just shook hands after a lot of 'HEY'S tosed around.
we malaysian really need a lesson on how to club from the british. i've been clubbing there and i rarely saw fight. cause you know what they did after getting pissed drunk? they just puke and vandalize public property and end up spending the night in lock-up for a misdemeanour.
btw...
anyone watched football last weekend? Man Utd rocked man. well i kinda knew they'd take vengence on Blackburn for last year but my biggest match was Arsenal being gunned down by Liverpool 4-1. man that was hilarious. oh well you win some and then you lose some.
on a seperate note, Happy Birthday Thanes.
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