The One Flag That Matters!

How does flooding the streets with your political party flags help you win an election?

This is kampung mentality at it's supreme best!

The people gave you a chance to make a difference 5 years ago, if you would've done a good job, right now you can put your feet up, smoke a cigar and just count down the days till you take to office again!

And the same goes to the opposition parties; if the current ruling party are half baked morons who pocketed the people's money, plagued this country with economical downfall, promoted backward thinking, corrupt and should be voted out. Then your facts should speak for itself. Your flags are just a waste of money and is plain simple an eye sore at our neighborhoods!

I see blue flags, I see green flags, I see yellow flags, I see red flags... The one flag that matters shouldn't be one losing out in this rat race!

Bacon, Cream & Other Sexy Words

How dare she go and lose all that weight without checking with me? Those love handles... Those lovely lovely love handles!

I still think she's the best looking television has to offer...

(Oh.. And that sexy British accent, like hello  Can it get anymore sexier?)

Evidently it can! Have you seen  how well this goddess knows her way around the kitchen?

Okay! Fine! Don't believe me! But here's one last sales pitch on behalf of Lawson: she makes bacon at 2am after a night out!

SOLD!

Eat Your Vegetables!!!

The old me would have probably just dropped dead if this showed up at my table...

Of Wolves, Lambs & Lions

No, I'm not quoting Mathew 10:16...

There are sheep dressed up as lions. Then there are lions hiding under sheep cloaks. And last there are wolves in sheep clothing...

Do YOU know which of the above you are?

Or are you a genuine sheep, wolf or a lion going about your swag...?

#onetruelove

I'd Rip My Eyes Out

But I'd still watch it....

I've seen some dumb television series make it pass the first season and then there's Chuck. It is badly written, it has the most dumbest story line and worst of all, they've gotten this hottie to play a killer elite CIA agent. Now as far Femme Fatale goes, this Yvonne Strahovski can 'hovski' me A N Y T I M E !

(I need to be alone now)

No Country For The Weak

Something about the older you get the wiser you become laaaa...

I can generally say it's not panning out well in my reckless mind. I mean we all wanna lead a healthy life, right? And then those who've never given two fucks about it and those know what I'm talking about. I'll be dead honest here, I do not wanna live pass 60. I think 60 years in this earth is good enough, after that; contract void laaa... But for fuck sakes I do not wanna spend my last days on a Dialysis chair or spontaneous Thursday becoming Chemo Thursdays!

The Clock Is Ticking

The question of how long do you take to discover (or re-discover) yourself is a trick question. So I'm telling myself the deadline I gave myself a few hundred years ago is hereby null and void. It doesn't count anymore.

I'm gonna be raising hell in the old folks home and I'm gonna stick with my story; it's just a phase!

'Not knowing' is not the problem. People implanting ideas in you of what you should/could/would know or do is the problem. Here's to turning a deaf ear, a blind eye and maybe even a dumb face here and there to make it all legit.

I'm sorry if I'm gonna take more time than your average Joe. I'm sorry I still am not sure what I'm doing, where I'm going with all this. But eventually I have faith I'll find what I'm looking for or at least die searching.

Employee Deftnesses Scheme

I as CEO and founder of my company hereby solemnly swear to install one in every cubicle!

Loike

What exactly does it mean to be attracted to a 'handsome' woman?

This whole thing of having a type has been brewing in my brains for a bit now. For awhile now I was thinking my type was the alive and kicking and you can imagine to my surprise I now know I like 'manly' women...

Now I don't have a problem with that cause I still think every woman I've been attracted to is smokin' hot! But here's where the tangle starts; do you consider a drag queen 'handsomely' beautiful? Does that mean I probably might be attracted to one? And does that indirectly translate to me having homosexuality tendencies?

So is that an insult to all the women I've been attracted to?

Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome

It doesn't really exist! Honestly who gives up alcohol? It's just the inner child acting up, you take away his favorite toy or in this case his favorite happy hour beverage, he's bound to roll around on the floor kicking and screaming. Like all mothers, we sometimes indulge the spoiled kid and tell ourselves; "What else could I have done?"

Tough love! Who am I kidding? Here's to everyone who at one point of his life has ever uttered the words "I gotta give up drinking", cheers!

Stereo-typed Characters

Have you ever seen Bob Gunton play anything else other than the jerk who's authority you just want to defy?


Or James Cromwell play any other roles than the dad who put his career before his kids only to regret it later?


And I've personally never seen Glenn Morshower in a none military role.


I wonder if Hollywood has a list of actors that they can pick off for only certain roles... If real life was a movie God's watching. Damn, I'm out of one of those list too!

Things I Hate On The Road!

1. Uncles who drive big luxury cars and think that the price of the car includes a first class lease hold to the right lane!

2. Botox faced aunties who drive luxury sports cars like it's a Myvi stuck in second gear!

3. Mak Ciks driving big SUVs or MPVs who can barely see the road and take FOREVER to make one turn of the steering!

4. Fellow brown brothers from Klang with their white Proton Wiras, dark tint with the All Blacks sticker, Sean Paul blaring out of their cheap stereos. Reason I hate them is cause they think they are Mike SueMacha and drive like pussies and just stare at anyone who go pass them!

5. First year students studying in KL from god knows where and drives a Kancil. FOREVER FUCKING LOST!

Speaking of lost...

6. Out of towners who keep signalling left, then right, then left, then right, then left then right! Get proper directions or buy a fucking GPS or better still stay home!

7. Bloody white expats who think they are awesome drivers, fit for Formula One! If you were fit for Formula One, you'd come to Malaysia only once year you moron! Drive like a normal person and stop bullying people!

8. Drivers who get into a MINOR fender bender and stop on the extreme right lane IMMEDIATELY to check the damage and exchange information. MOVE to the nearest emergency lane and then do you business LAAAR!

9. Drivers who think they are of average speed and are in the middle lane. MORON, if the left lane is going faster than you it means you are of a SNAIL'S PACE!

10. The numbnuts who can't seem to stick to one lane and worse still doesn't know they've invented something called an indicator!

Breakfast Puzzles

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."


He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh, "Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

Kahwin, Kahwin Dan Kahwin...

How many more la?? Falling like flies here!

Where Did We Leave It...?

India.....

It's far from over. And much worse if that the clarity that I've had since being there is slowly but surely fading. What can I say; my mind is fickle. Leave it to me to take something pure and twist it up all into a tango of blueness and gray.

On a more healthier and delightful note; How many of you are actually shocked with gruesome pictures painted into your mind that Bulat has started working out?

To wrap things up for today edition of ramblings; I'm sorry, Bangla Petrol Kiosk Man!

The Scale Never...........

Dear Santa,

Seeing how this is my first time writing in to the North Pole, I wasn't too sure on how early is too early. But if this does come to you as a tad bit early and pushy, I do sincerely apologize. Next Chocolate Cocoa is on me, kay? *wink

Now, I've been quite naughty in the past. I know I don't have to tell you, you're the man with the LIST. But I thought if I came clean and confessed to some of the things I've done, seeing how it is the spirit of forgiving and 'giving' and all... You'd put me back on the list! It makes sense, right Santa?

See, I'm quite a simply guy with a simple taste; So come this December, I'd like to have me'self one of these simple little boy's toys; Toyota FJ Cruiser. Preferably in Army Green, with the TRD 17" Black Alloy Rims and the FJ Auxiliary lights in the front and the top. The spare tyre cover, you can surprise me! I'm not that picky...



Aside from being simple, I'm quite a reasonable guy too. So Santa, you have till December if this letter somehow doesn't convince you that I deserve my toy, or else say goodbye to Mrs. Claus (last seen leaving the candy store). Like I said, I'm a reasonable guy, give me a call or something aye? We'll talk more. You take care now Santa, and send my love to Donder, Cupid, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Comet, Blitzen, Vixen and Rudolph...

Warm Regards,
A good kid!

p.s.; Mrs. Claus makes a fantastic batch of butterscotch cookies...!

Bang Head Here

As frustration builds up, there is but only one thing left to do; SCREAM!

How difficult is it to be efficient? I put forward this question as globally as I possibly can. I've worked with the Swedes, the Germans, the Japanese, the all famous Americans and how not to forget the very diverse of them all, the Malaysians.

I have to say, that each of them bring forward a flavour that is unique in itself. I've never met a more professional than that of the Swedish. I've never met any more an efficient and cohesive unit than that of the Germans. If precision and perfectionism had to choice a country to reside, I think it'll pick Japan. The attention they pay to the minute details is awesome. Gun slinging, gung-ho, take no prisoners, bring it on... You take your pick how to describe the Americans. Their attitude towards the subject is always high spirited and most of all they know how to make things more interesting, even the most mundane of work...

Now the Malaysians; if we can first drop that huge ass ego of ours. Then, not to focus on the color of the other person's skin. Finally, if we can just learn to do things the right way, first time, straight away. I'd say we can out do any of these fellas above.

Indians; I shall just continue to bang my head till I start burning calories...

The Heat Is On....

Me: It is freaking hot outside!
God: I'm just getting warmed up, son....