Friday, September 30, 2005

heaven spoke...

last night i was like really dying to go for a swim, so i manage to pull my gear and go swimming around 10pm. as i was lying in the water i realized how bright the skies are over here. looking up to the skies, reminded me of two things; one was the skies in UK, i just loved looking at them. i saw some of the brightest stars at night and during the day, i finally what it meant by 'sky blue'. the second thing it reminded me of was my conversation with God.

see Ashlin gave me this website where you can chat with God, something called igod or something like that, fucking hilarious, read it;

Me:
hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
don't you know?
God:
Sure I know. But I cannot tell you right now.
Me:
thats not very comforting
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is comforting ?
Me:
that you are not gonna reveal my own name
God:
Interesting observation.
Me:
i thought observation was your job
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
only god knows
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
i am not
God:
What are you then?
Me:
hindu
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
i am a hindu
God:
You are a hindu? Does it pay well?
Me:
not really but the dental plan is good
God:
Oh really? What is that?
Me:
you know what pay is but you don't know what a dental plan is...
God:
I have to process that one for a while.
Me:
take you time..you seem to have lots of it lying around
God:
Where do you want me to take it?
Me:
just not anywhere near me
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
God, no offense but you're starting to sound lame
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
i don't blame you
God:
Well, please go on.
Me:
you want me to blame you?
God:
No , maybe later.
Me:
cool..
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
i guess the Terminator
God:
I can't believe you think the Terminator is better than God.
Me:
i never said that...
God:
But you implied it.
Me:
you implied it, not me
God:
I didn't imply anything.
Me:
you said and i quote 'I can't believe you think the Terminator is better than God.'
God:
Did I really say that?
Me:
you calling me a liar
God:
No I am calling you .
Me:
calling me where?
God:
I never call you where, that would be impolite.
Me:
God, you high?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I high.
Me:
God, you are stoned...
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am stoned.
Me:
i don't think you have to tell them...
God:
OK it will be our secret, .
Me:
you rock...
God:
The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me:
what?!
God:
No big deal.
Me:
okay God...i think i this session with you went well enough...for now
God:
Yeah okay, GOD rules. Why? Thanks for the information: said this session with you went well enough. Oh. Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
i was trying to say goodbye
God:
Thanks for chatting, .
Me:
see around...observe me from time to time...
God:
I see. Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
as soon as you shut up...
God:
You seem quite eager for it.
Me:
yes i am
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
now, goodbye
God:
Why now? Bye for now.
Me:
you know something God, you are irritating
God:
No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
her?
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
bye...
God:
See you later .


that was by far the most hilarious conversation i've ever had, well at least one that i had recently. i wonder what would God really sound like, what would He really say to me?

5 comments:

ashlin said...

my goodness, i hope u took note of the warning ...extended use of igod may cause delusions.

Unknown said...

what warning?

ellie ng said...

sigh,i tried so many creative ways to get God to talk to me:

"hey,wassup god?"

"god,please reply me..."

"god,stop jamming up my comp with silence!!!"

"answer me,god dammit,so that i can repent for using your name in vain!"

"god,forgive me for i have sinned.due to your lack of attention towards my chatting abilities,i have decided to forgoe my faith and trust in you,and worship satan instead."

from the last message,it's obvious he never did answer me.so rajes, consider yourself blessed by the "high" and mighty god.

ashlin said...

evil evil ellie...

Anonymous said...

This reminds me:
Oh Lord grant me the wish that I may not fall, into the clutches of cholesterol. At polyunsaturates, I will never mutter, for the road to hell is paved with butter o_O
(from a reader's digest I read ages ago)