from....

where i sit....

i just hate it....

i finally had the courage to say what i wanted to say for the past 4 months now. i should be liberated, i should be ecstatic, i should be a lot of things but the one thing i shouldn't is exactly how i feel.

i did the right thing today but i feel horrible about it. the pain is so consuming that i've lost feeling of it. i hate it that i've done the right thing!

so i finally...

...left this:



for what?

i feel so used. it's hard (actually quite simple) to explain. i just feel so cheap and worthless. i feel i should 'lower my expectation' like a whole chapter lower it, lower it...i'm trough with the selfless acts. it's all me from now on. goodbye life, i'm off to live one!