heaven spoke...

last night i was like really dying to go for a swim, so i manage to pull my gear and go swimming around 10pm. as i was lying in the water i realized how bright the skies are over here. looking up to the skies, reminded me of two things; one was the skies in UK, i just loved looking at them. i saw some of the brightest stars at night and during the day, i finally what it meant by 'sky blue'. the second thing it reminded me of was my conversation with God.

see Ashlin gave me this website where you can chat with God, something called igod or something like that, fucking hilarious, read it;

Me:
hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
don't you know?
God:
Sure I know. But I cannot tell you right now.
Me:
thats not very comforting
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is comforting ?
Me:
that you are not gonna reveal my own name
God:
Interesting observation.
Me:
i thought observation was your job
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
only god knows
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
i am not
God:
What are you then?
Me:
hindu
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
i am a hindu
God:
You are a hindu? Does it pay well?
Me:
not really but the dental plan is good
God:
Oh really? What is that?
Me:
you know what pay is but you don't know what a dental plan is...
God:
I have to process that one for a while.
Me:
take you time..you seem to have lots of it lying around
God:
Where do you want me to take it?
Me:
just not anywhere near me
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
God, no offense but you're starting to sound lame
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
i don't blame you
God:
Well, please go on.
Me:
you want me to blame you?
God:
No , maybe later.
Me:
cool..
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
i guess the Terminator
God:
I can't believe you think the Terminator is better than God.
Me:
i never said that...
God:
But you implied it.
Me:
you implied it, not me
God:
I didn't imply anything.
Me:
you said and i quote 'I can't believe you think the Terminator is better than God.'
God:
Did I really say that?
Me:
you calling me a liar
God:
No I am calling you .
Me:
calling me where?
God:
I never call you where, that would be impolite.
Me:
God, you high?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I high.
Me:
God, you are stoned...
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am stoned.
Me:
i don't think you have to tell them...
God:
OK it will be our secret, .
Me:
you rock...
God:
The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me:
what?!
God:
No big deal.
Me:
okay God...i think i this session with you went well enough...for now
God:
Yeah okay, GOD rules. Why? Thanks for the information: said this session with you went well enough. Oh. Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
i was trying to say goodbye
God:
Thanks for chatting, .
Me:
see around...observe me from time to time...
God:
I see. Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
as soon as you shut up...
God:
You seem quite eager for it.
Me:
yes i am
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
now, goodbye
God:
Why now? Bye for now.
Me:
you know something God, you are irritating
God:
No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
her?
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
bye...
God:
See you later .

that was by far the most hilarious conversation i've ever had, well at least one that i had recently. i wonder what would God really sound like, what would He really say to me?

Tim Burton meets Hanna-Barbera

so after shaving last night at around 3 something, i go downstairs, completely forgeting that there was a game going on, Man Utd v Benfica (Man Utd won by the way 2-1). so by the time i slept was around late 5am. then got up this morning at 8.30 and got ready for my interview. which went fine by the way. so then after the interview i met up with Shenn for lunch where we ended up going thru a minefield of idiots on wheels, it was kinda like an obstacle challenge to drive out of it. which i end up safely out of and then drove straight home and slept.

here is where the twist comes twirling in...

the weirdest of weird dreams. so i'm con artist and i pull up to this house to con some old lady out of her car. but just before i could even ring her doorbell, a bunch of 4 clean mean unshaved muscled up jocks in blue overalls see me and recognize me from a conjob i pulled on them couple of days ago. so they start chasing me. i run but to no avail, cause their atheletes right, they're a whole lot faster than me, as just as they're about to catch me i grab hold of this shopping cart, jump into it and steam away from them. thank God it was a downhill road so i was just speeding away.

now the jocks, apparently had roller blades with them, back in their car. so they track back put their blades, chase after me (why not in their cars? i dunno). so i kinda have a head start with 4 blue roller bladers after me. the road downhill starts to get winding around and i have to throw my body from side to side to turn. and i am swooping downhill, i pass these 4 gorillas on choppers dressed like bikers (you know, bandannas, torn jeans, tattooes). seeing me scrotching away, they start to give chase. so there's me being chased by 4 biker gorrilas and another 4 roller blading jocks.

the jocks eventually catch up to the gorrilas, and they start tustle around on the street and one of them takes each other out, to a loud crash, hearing this loud crash another 4 white gorrilas dressed up as the Discovery Channel Eco Challenge group (you know, blue spandex, crash helmets, and running shoes) suddenly apear down the hill, they think they've been cought up by the other Eco Challenge teams, so they start to pedal (oh yeah they're on racing bicycles, sponsored by Discovery Channel).

remember how the apes start to make so much noise in 'Planet of the Apes' when they were getting ready for war, and they get all restless and jumpy and violent. thats how all the apes were, including those 4 jocks in blades. its gonna get weirder...

so then wanna know how i pass the Discovery Channel white apes? my shopping cart has got NOS! yes my cart has an engine fitted with a Nitrous Oxide System, oh it can only get weirder. see i thought i was running away from those jocks, turns out i'm actually speeding down the hill to save a girl who is driving a white with red striped Chevy Camaro being crashed by an assault tanker and the whole thing is being filmed by a helicopter.

now if you have been following the story, you'd know its only bound to get weirder. actually i am not going after to save the girl, she's just a bonus, i'm after the car, cause in the car is a remote hidden. a remote control that will activate a huge electronic worm that has stored 50 thousand dollars. you can ask, can it get any weirder? and sandman will never disappoint you. the 50 large, i am suppose to share with 2 dogs, and one of them is a cyborg dog, with laser beaming eyes called 'Spoof', another is 'Shaggy' from the cartoon.

thank God i woke up...

p.s; happy birthday Pink Tart

outside the box is where i belong

dwelling of nothingness behind a something has been the story of the month for me, then again if history has thought me anything is thats how my life has always been pointing toward. i gotta call on last week monday and it was for a job interview, the guy did a phone interview with me and then he wants me to come in this week wednesday for another interview. if i get the job i might be working everywhere but here. seeing that its a project cum service engineer job for the region of South-East Asia, i'll be based in KL but working mostly outside of Malaysia.

ever since i came home, (which i really wanted to, trust me i really wanted to come home) i have not really recovered from why i left in the first place, i tried to test myself yesterday and yes i failed miserably, ferociously miserable. so to be quite honest i have had a small sense of remorse with my decision to come home. don't get me wrong guys, seeing all of you was the best thing i needed but i still somehow i need to go away again.

so to be quite honest i want this job.

and Ricardo, thats why i wanted to see on saturday, and thats why i was pissed you blew me off. sorry dude...

Party at the Pearl

people in the hotel business really know how to get down and party. i mean they literally bring the house down, and when you have my bloodline running thru it, you can imagine the chaos thats gonna run streaking down that hallway.


the one on the extreme left is my cousin Balan, a real party animal, next to him is his partner in crime Jeremy. the two lovely ladies are Sherine, and...okay this is embarrassing i forgot her name. oh man this is bad. i think its Ayen or something like that.


thats Grace being graced by his presents. shes got a cool tattoo on her shoulder.


you know the one who is being groped, is actually their lecturer, Sidney. yeah, i'm not kidding. (ofcourse the picture where i'm being gang raped is for my viewing pleasure only). the one in red is Michael a.k.a. 'Nose Hair Burning Peckam'. oh by the way the occasion was Sherine's brother's wedding. and we were the official wedding crashers.


if you thought that was hilarious, this dude here next to my cousin is his college principal, Johnson. i hope they are sober during classes but if their not, sure beats a boring afternoon lecture.

oh man, next week is their college orientation night and i've been invited to everyone of the event since they joined. hate to break it to you guys but i'm not an Olympian, but what the heck, you promise me Guinness and Marlboro Classics i'm coming crashing thru, guns blazing and all, riding shotgun will be George, flexing his 20inch biceps.

back...

i thought i could escape that feeling, the feeling that was slowly corroding away at my soul. ever since i came home i know i've not only been grumpy but i've been very solitary, by choice ofcourse. i cana't explain why, or what's going on in this fickle mind of mine.

but Penang was good...

i thought i could just go up for the weekend and see my cousin off, then spend sometime alone and then i'd be rejuvenated, but plans got changed..


the last thing i'll remember her saying before boarding her flight will be, 'Wait, let me finish my muffin first....'

ofcourse then i thought i could run away with the Penang food scene and get drunk with the beautiful life of hawker food, which i did. and the weighing scale is staring back at me now. my aunty as always insisted i stay with her and never leave her sight, but i had to escape, i was really being troubled at night with memories and tears. i thought i'd just run away...


the beach was beautiful at 5.30am, i just had no words when i reached there.


ofcourse when i turned around i had no idea where i was, Batu Ferringi yes, but which part of it, i was completely thrown away. until i saw the curve, i once spun my car around that bend


the sun was then slowly rising and watching this fisherman going out trying to recorver his overnight net, was the sign...


time for a dip. since i left the house not planning to hit the beach, so i had no swim wear. then at one point the words, 'Whats the most interesting thing you did last...' came to mind. so skinny dipping it was. the water was incredible, warm and yet cold. i swam up all the way and then at one point, yes, i thought i should just swim away and never return to shore. i was just swimming away till it was almost 8.30am and the sun was high up already, the beach was bright as it could get. i dunno why i decided to turn back but i guess sometimes i always see things half way thru.

now i'm back, but not cured...

(not to mention seeing the look on the motorist driving by and looking at this naked man coming out of the water, priceless...)

_________________________

yes, i've flatlined my brain....

you can call me Mr. Oscar

i think i've become an antisocial. not only am i lazy to get out of the house but i've actually lost the interest to go out and meet people. its really weird when all i wanted to do when i was away for so long was to meet up with friends and family. but now i don't even feel like driving to Bangsar to see Ricardo. i used to love to drive, everywhere my friends wanted to go, i was the first one there. WK used to be suprised at how fast i could get to his house, but now i'm like a slug with fractured foot.

i hope i don't turn into a communist either...

cause i'm starting to hate company too, see my dad's errm..i think she is my dad's cousin or WTF not like i care. back to the story, see she's been staying here for a few days now, i haven't even spoken a word to her, nor do i even know her name. and quite frankly i just completely hate strangers. then today my dad's sister comes by, she's gonna be here till friday. GGGGGGGod i'm turning into my brother. he hates everyone. i used to be the smile at everyone, welcome faced guy. well thats a big lie, i've been known as the stuck up too, cause i apparently have the look of an SOB. see i don't know my dad's sister or his cousin, they could be the two most gentle women in the whole wide world, and i'm not one to judge but i've become like a nutty professor, going into my cavern (room) and spend the rest of the days there. you know i've removed the bed from my room. i've stored it under my parents bed, so now all my room has is a few cabinets, my closet, my study table and my computer table...

i wanted to lie down the other day, then i realzed i have to do that on the floor. and its weird that since i stop sleeping on my bed, i've never wanted to lie down in my room. my uncle is coming down on saturday, my cousin is leaving for the UK in september, they'll be here to do up her visa. i hope i don't turn into a complete jerk when they arrive. her moms my favorite aunty, she takes really good care of me when i go to Penang. i'd hate to make her feel horrible that she came. now if i can only manage to crack down on this moods in get into, if i can find the switch and somehow manage to turn it off, i know i'd be a whole better person. i was thinking of going back with her to Penang when she leaves, maybe its cause i haven't had a vacation in a long time, maybe thats why i am like Oscar the guy who lives in the trash can in Sesame Street.

later