Is my two front teeth...

All I want for Christmas. Oh, wait.. Crap, that's like another 8 months away. Anyone wanna sponsor me like 400bucks? I take advanced birthday gifts too...

To rubber or not to rubber...

I was watching a rerun of Seinfeld last night and there was a scene where George was complaining to Jerry about how they make condom packet so difficult to open and Jerry say; "well it gives the women a few moments to change their mind.." (Farnieee..!)

Which actually kinda got me thinking; 'the opening of the condom packet' moment is the only part of sex that is so uncool, isn't it? No matter what situation, where you are or who you're doing; the whole minute of two you take to reach for that aluminum'ish packet, tear it open and bloody put it on is like the most dork'ish thing a man can do during sex. It must look really REALLY dork'ish, come to think of it. Crap, why has this never occurred to me before? I wonder if there is a whole unwriten Man's Protocal on this, LOL!

Suddenly everytime I shut my eyes, I'm faced with flashes of all the times I've put it on and seriously it's nightmare'ish. For years now I've been doing the dorkiest thing in front of women and I'm also starting to wonder why they didn't change their minds when they so had a chance. Then again, I remember reading somewhere that rubber'ing yourself is supposedly the gentleman thing to do, really? I thought it was bringing her flowers...

I think I should start writing for sitcoms!

The points don't matter anymore...

I've been reserving myself from blogging about this for months now. Simple reason is that for many years now I've always gotten so friggin' excited about the season, that I mouth off far to fast. This year I wanted to watch the opening race before I actually commented on anything about the sport.

So let's start with this afternoon... Brawn Mercedes ehhh??! (Awesome..)

Does anyone remember Ross Brawn from Benetton? Yes, the yellow and green cars with the huge Camel print on the rear wing from the early 90s'. Funny how I don't. Maybe because the whole time in spite it was his ingenious technical direction that lead the team to two championships, it was the face of Michael Schumacher and Flavio Briatore that was flashed on television screens most of the time. I think the very first time I saw him was when Michael Schumacher won the Japanese GP in 1995 and he was up there to take the constructors throphy. From then on, what a whole decade with Ferrari and what; 6 drivers titles and 7 contructors titles? Impressive would you say so... Nothing compared to this afternoon then again. Rear defuser aside, I mean that's for the FIA to iron out but today's results speak volumes of the man's experiences. My sincere cheers to the man. Good to see a an underdog come and take on the big guns.

Don't doubt it for one minute; I'm still Tifossi, word!

Okay, Formula One is this sport where they're constantly looking to break the formula. You ask me; 1998 was the sports pinacle moment. The rules rocked, the driver raced, the team princeples kept their mouth shut, Bernie made money and Mosley wasn't wearing a Nazi uniform and Murray Walker was still screaming come grand prix weekends. Every year they wanna bring 'something new' into the game to spice it up or slow the sport down bla bla safety bla bla bla.

This season, I think the only three good news that came out of the FIA press room was; 1. Pit Lane stays open, 2. KERS and 3. Slick tyres. I seriously had my doubts about KERS initially but after watching an on board cam of Lewis Hamilton tailing Nico Rosberg and not lose any speed from the turbulence at almost every corner in Albert Park(Street Circuit thingy), I likey KERS...

Years and years of watching Formula One over and over again, watching a driver take the chequered flag is still a phenomenal feeling that just overwhelms me. Despite most or some of the times it's heartbreaking to watch your hero NOT making it all the way there. But something told you; hey, championships are not won in one race. You know what? That might not be true this season. Winner take all, well at least that's what the FIA is saying. So I don't get this, if a driver is like miles ahead of the another driver in the points, he still could lose the championship because he didn't rack up more wins? Or if a driver like won 5 back to back races and then got fired and at the end of the season he was the one with the most race wins, does that mean a driver that's not even in the sport anymore wins the championship? I think I gotta got read the rules again. I'm sure Charlie Whitting and Bernie Eccelstone thought of things like this...

Aside from all this, I think this season is going to be awesome. Finally a season where the playing grounds look so even. Yet there is this voice in the back of my head saying; it's too early to call it. Wait this the big boys get into the European circuits!

3 ounces of my banana-nana-nana juices...

I've been told that I'm below average engineer recently, to be exact, I'm a bottom 10 in the whole of my organization of engineers. 'Bottom10', that's an interesting way of putting it, don't you think so? It's like someone constantly judging you, or trying to label you with something. Have we come to that stage that everyday I need to prove myself? Jeez... If I had known, I would worn something more comfortable! Or more stylish at least...

"Oh of all the millions of sperm, YOU made it?!"

Alright, maybe I am an under performer, maybe I am a non achiever... Maybe I don't give a shit who's watching. Maybe I don't really fancy a 'good job' email dropping into my inbox. It's nice to be aggressive and motivated only like, I dunno, 20% of the time and just cut lose and relax a little, don't you think so. I hate the fact that I HAVE to give a 117% all the time...

Now where is that calling for my bartender job in Jamaica? I know I don't make that fantastic of cocktails but hey... I know I can hold in all my bottles, LOL!!

"Puff, puff, pass it man! Don't hog Mary Jane..."

Plus, imagine all the naked British women who just wanna get high and wasted on paradise island.... I definitely need to get one of those hats with a banana on it! Or at least a St. Patrick's Day Guinness Hat will do...

I need to vent...

Have you guys ever gone to parking lot after six, I'm talking about those along the streets that have parking meters? I was always under the impression that those meters are only from 7am till 6pm. Ever parked you car in one of those spot and suddenly have one guy come up to you and ask you for 10bucks???!!!

You ask him why; he gives you this 'story' about how he has leased this spots from the DBKL from 6pm till 3am! I seriously think this is daylight or should I say moonlight robbery. Who the hell are these guys to just suddenly start charging parking for a spot the government is already making money of us. If you don't pay during the day, you get a ticket, you don't pay during the night, you get you car scratched! What the FUCK LA WEI?! I think the Government is in it with these hoodlums trying to make a quick buck out of us night birds. I rather park my car in shopping complex and walk then pay these idiots who are conning people out of their money. Valley parking I can understand but this is ridicules...

Stuck with you since...

Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Out of order, I'll show you out of order! You don't know what out of order is, Mr.Trask! I'd show you but I'm too old, I'm too tired, and I'm too fuckin' blind
- Scent Of A Woman

Man A: What do you mean...
Man B: I mean what I mean...
Man A: But they can be so mean...
- (Can't remember which Kamal Hassan movie)

Old Man: In the church, they say to forgive.
Creasy: Forgiveness is between them and God. It's my job to arrange the meeting.
- Man On Fire

John Milton: Are we negotiating?
Kevin Lomax: Always.
- Devil's Advocate

Lt. Gen. Eugene Irwin: Take a look at a castle. Any castle. Now break down the key elements that make it a castle. They haven't changed in a thousand years. 1: Location. A site on high ground that commands the territory as far as the eye can see. 2: Protection. Big walls, walls strong enough to withstand a frontal attack. 3: A garrison. Men who are trained and willing to kill. 4: A flag. You tell your men you are soldiers and that's your flag. You tell them nobody takes our flag. And you raise that flag so it flies high where everyone can see it. Now you've got yourself a castle. The only difference between this castle and all the rest is that they were built to keep people out. This castle is built to keep people in.
- Last Castle

Elsie: Shut up. Just shut up. Homer once said you love the mine more than your own family. I stood up for you because I didn't want to believe it. Homer has gotten alot of help from the people in this town. They've helped him build his rockets. They've watched him fly 'em. But not you. You never showed up, not even once. I'm not asking you to believe in it, but he's your son, for God's sake. And I am asking you to help him. If you don't, I'll leave you. I'll do whatever it takes to get away from here. I will work, if that's what it takes. I'll live in a tree to get away from you. Don't think I won't.
John: Where would you go?
Elsie: Myrtle Beach.
- October Sky

Baker: Joseph P. Brenner... what's the P stand for?
Kaminsky: Pussy.
- Raw Deal

Chuck Noland: We might just make it. Did that thought ever cross your brain? Well regardless I would rather take my chance out there on the ocean, that to stay here and die on this shithole island spending the rest of my life talking to a god damn VOLLEYBALL.
- Cast Away

Gen. Zaysen: Drop your weapons! Now! You have no chance of escape! Come forward! I wish to take you back alive! This is your last warning! The choice is yours!
Col. Trautman: What do you say John?
Rambo: Fuck 'em!
- Rambo III

Buzz: I've set my laser from stun to kill.
Woody: Oh, great. If anyone attacks we can blink em' to death.
- Toy Story

John: My son is dying, and I'm broke. If I don't qualify for Medicare, WHO THE HELL DOES?
- John Q

She acts like summer and walks like rain...

I was on my way home the other night after a movie and I popped in an old CD I found lying about in the glove compartment... Blasting out comes 'Drops Of Jupiter' by Train. Gawd!!! It brought back memories... I remember driving down to Melacca one sunny day, I was on my way to see my then girlfriend and I was driving her Fiat Marea. Let me tell you something about those Italian made machines; they pack a mean punch!

(Anyways, I'm drifting away from the point..)

I remember the drive for the drive. I love to drive... You know that feeling where you don't give a fuck how much money you've got in your pockets, or what to expect the next day or today for that matter... You just throw a few things in a bag, and can't wait to hit the road? I remember driving, talking to myself, monologue'ing movie lines, sipping a coke, munching on a sneakers bar. No expectations on what's beyond that horizon. I guess it was also partly due to the feeling of being in love. Knowing at the end of the journey there was this most sweetest lips on earth waiting for you to plunker when you get there...

(Again, I'm drifting away from the point..)

Back to trying to capture that horizon... I remember a part somewhere after Senawang, when 'Drops of Jupiter' came on the radio (It was 2003, chart topper back then). The moment was beautiful... Mouthing to the lyrics as laud as you can, flooring the engine hearing her purr along the highway... Greens on your left, on-coming cars on your right, white lines going by like you're on warp drive, and pure energy flowing thru your body with no prejudicious thoughts of anything at all... Not a care in the world...

She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, hey....

Soar to the skies...

I've always had my movie moments, or should I say moments in movies that define my moment... (wait I'm confusing myself)... For a very long time, one of my secretly kept favorite movie is October Sky. I guess the idea of wanting something more that has been dealt to you has always appealed to me. Knowing you can achieve something beyond the expectations of others...

Somedays go by when you wish your shirt and the dry wall had the same paterns, so no one could see nor speak to you... Then somedays go by when you wanna launch a rocket of the parking lot and have everybody come watch and join in the count down... Then there are someday, you wish there was a whole case of TNT on that rocket and you strapped yourself to it!

anyways... October Sky has a part in it when where Homer Hickams offers his dad the honors of launching their last ever rocket in Coalwood. And I could swear I've watched this move at least 15 times... that part just moist my eyes up E V E R Y T I M E! No matter what kind of a person you are, your daddy will always be your hero. It's just when you grew up, you realized he wasn't all that you pictured and find it hard to except!

I need more rockets in my life to get it straight just yet. Or at least more rocket fuel to burn...

Pushing further where no man has pushed before...

I've gone thru a lot in my life, that much I know. I've always been one to go and push things to it's breaking point. I know that's not very smart on my account. But never the less, I have. It has always cost me. Not once can i genuninely say it helped or brought me any good. But yet, I've never stopped doing it. Farny how I put it as though it's my fault but not...

Nicotine never tasted this good!

What is this? Why agree to this?
Where do we go from here? Where does she wanna go from here?
Do I say this, or that? Do I even do anything?
Why wait? What is that going to achieve?
So is this it? Did I destroy this one as well?
Do I really wanna do this for a living? (I'm good at it, no?)
Why am I so confused? Do I call her or not?
Do I wanna go back there tomorrow morning?
Do I come back home tomorrow?
What now then? Let is eat me inside out?
Do I go back there again? Everyday?
So is it over? I've said that already haven't I?
Not in so many words but am I a moron? Don't answer that!
What do I want to do? For real? For real, real?
Were we pretending at anytime ever? Was I? Were they?
Do I even want to know the answer?
What happened to that kid I knew? He is not dead! No?
I can kick ass if I wanted to! No?
I need to surround myself with more of Mr. Jon's...
I doubt it'll be sane but a hell lot more fun!
Don't you wanna join me? Pull up a chair, pour yourself a bourbon?
Don't ask question, just shut up and drink!
Is this healthy? Why the hell not!
Look what's going on on HBO, not like you have anything else to do?
Are you ignoring me? You would wouldn't you?
You can pull yourself to do that can you? Should I be surprised?
Do I, again really want to know the answer to that?
Is it my age? Am I too old? Or too young? Do I need to grow up?
Have I not grown enough? Is there really that much more that I can absorb?
Is that the light flickering or my eyes, twitching?
Do I care? Do you care? Would she care? Would anyone care? Do I want someone to care?
What difference would it make? Would it?

WOULD IT? WOULD IT EVER?!

Fuyyoooo

After a 8 month absence from the scene... I'm back!!!

But I dunno what to write.. Alamak!!!

...

so much for my resolution... lasted only about a week!!!
(i swear to return and avenge my blogger death)

The TI Karaoke Craze

these people love to hit the karaoke joints man... in Jan, at the turn of the new year our big boss took us all for an EE Anual dinner, where...karaoke. then we've recently had one engineer resign, to throw him a farewell, where'd we go....karaoke. i couple of TI friends invited me out once, where'd we go, karaoke. then now we're having this technician appreciation dinner, where are we taking them...karaoke.

and every session it has become routine for me (and by request) to sing "It's My Life" by Bon Jovi. secretly...i love pretending to be a Rock Star!!! is there an award for Best Karaoke singer?

Garfield

Aiyo.... (why *wail*....whyyy)

i've not been one who cares much for the looks la, i mean i duuno why exactly but it just is. not saying i rather look like a slob. i think i present myself pretty well but lately i've been putting on the pounds byt the minute (or seconds)...

it hasn't really bothered me that i'm FATTTTTTTTTTTTT but youo know, just that i'm FFATTTTTTTTTTT and it seems to be what everyone say, that i'm FAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTT....

The MAKE-Test Dinners

so, it has been almost close to 8months since i'm with Texas Instruments but i think only about what, 4months now with under the Handler Improvement team... (yeah just about right). so anyways, ever since i came to this team we've been having this MAKE-Test dinners thingys going on..

(okay let me explain..)
MAKE-Test is this team of experts who are based in Dallas but over see a few of the technical aspects for all the Assembly and Test sites. so technically we the Handler Improvement team sorta always liaise with them. so we often try to have this team building between us going...
(okay, back to the story now)

right, so for the past 4months, i was invited to join and i said hey, sure no problem. been doing ever since. until last night *cue the "Imperial March". we've had Ben from the Product Engineering join us in a few of our dinners and last night he invited our Operations Manager... (yup, right, exactly, the same OM who told me to go back to Flextronics and the same guy who did the wife thing during my interview) *cue the "imperial March" again.

see over a few dinners, lunch and tea times in the last 8months or so, i've got to know Paul (Darth Vader) better and yeah, he is a cool dude. jokes like a maniac and very fun to be around with. so when the news came to us that Paul was joining the MAKE-Test dinner i was cool about it until he showed up and gave the look... the "Sake on a Tuesday night ahhhh?" look...

to cut the story short, he kinda took it as us taking MAKE-Test for a free ride, oh did i mention, MAKE-Test pays for these dinners. and last dinner we went to Ozeki. for those of you who are not familiar with japanese food scene in KL, Ozeki is farking expensive. and this is how they food looks like;






the bill that night came up to RM1700, (hahahaha..i know, at the end of the story, you'd be wishing we didn't go to Ozeki as well). and Paul some how found out about this as well. so last night, he came up with the deal, that we gotta take turns buying this MAKE-Test dinner. so Byron pays for this one and the next was gonna be one of us and he is joining,

to make things worse, the Korean Restaurant we went to Jung Wan, didn't accept Amex cards, so Paul paid for dinner and alamak, now he is beating the shit out of us. let's put this simple, we each had to fork out RM100 each.

Morale of the story:
1. Don't hide anything for Darth Vader
2. MAKE-Test dinners are once a month

Hahahaha... dey, Ben...you watch the next time we go Painballing!!!!

Sit Bubu, sit...

yup, i blew it... and i seem to be doing it far too aften than i can afford to. what's wrong with me? i was really trying to think back at all my past relationships and i realized that Michelle is by far the most forgiving (phew...lucky me). so i get to go drinking all the time, i get to gaze at 'Fujitos' and i get to play jablok pranks (as long as i use the 'Kama Chi Chi Bu Bu'), i'm practically getting away with murder here.

okay, lets recap; why am i complaining? right... so here goes;

i think i should put in more effort, right? i know, i'm not doing everything i can do within my bearables. i know i want to but i can't figure out what's stopping me? work? nahhh.... maybe then again it's just my age? have gone past the lovey dovey age? i don't think so either, i'm still a kid! then i ask maybe it is because Michelle is too forgiving? and i'm afraid to asnwer my own question?

Do i need a shorter leash?

TytnII

With the recent purchase of my trustee HTC, i realized that i'm pretty well equipped for office work. appoinments get through, task gets reminded and i'm never without a pen and paper.



i've been surfing the net while i'm on the crapper, updated my Facebook status while i was out drowning my face in Guinness last night. truth be told, i'm never alone or bored. my 3G unlimited access is awesome (now i can surf porn in the office, heaheaha).

i'd say the only downside to this phone is that now, even though my camera is a 3mp but it's still bad. doesn't really have a flash either. my sound playing days are far gone. the entertainment aspect has been cut short but other wise, it rocks.

HTC better be paying me for saying this.

GAB

i've never had a more Stoutfull day in my entire life....

last night there was a charity event held at GAB. the booze flowed like mud i tell ya. free flow of Guinness and Kilkeneys, of course there was a few other beers around but who cares when stout rules! met a few nice people from event management industries, met another few drunkards. best of all it was nice to meet up with all the 'mat crackos'. but as always a few blew us off; Visvan and Shaggy, both the ex-Flexians... (apa laaa, bikin malu jugak)

weird though, i had almost close to 2o stouts, didn't get hammered and even better, i actually blew Michelle off (not on purpose la, the event started late) but she wasn't pissed with me. i tell ya, it doesn't get any better than that; free flow of stout and gf not pissed with you all in the same night... or should i say; all in a days work!

The Malaysian GP

It was awesome... the weather, the people, the environment, even the god damn beers were at perfect temperature.




the race, besides the unfortunate incident with Fillipe Massa spinning (or berpusu-pusu) out was also close to perfect. Kimi drove an excellent race. but i particular loved the way both the Redbull cars were performing.

Busted...

A message from my big boss

To all my direct reports,
Pls check the time in & out of your Engineers. I will start taking action against those
who are not in to work by 8.30am starting tomorrow for the line audits. I guess I have
reminded everyone enough. We cannot apply double standards for techs & engineers.
Some of your guys are doing disappearing act during the work days after lunch, evening
very consistently. Look at this list very closely & talk to them. Pls get your problem fixed
for those who are not adhering to this rule.

Best Regards,
xxxxxxx

there goes my 9am leaving for work routine...