who your daddy now...

i hope the people from old job are reading this; i got a job biatch...!!!

i start on monday, Project Engineer (or maybe QA Engineer) for a plastic component manufacturer. the boss was willing to give me what i wanted, so lets see how this one goes. 'I KNOW WHAT I'M WORTH..'

so lets see, i still have a few more interviews to go for, so that means i'm still looking. you can never be happy with what you have (job wise i mean).

tomorrow i plan to paint my room. i'm thinking of going with grey. sad that all my posters have to come down, including my Terminator and signed Michael Jackson ones too. i wanna go Ikea on friday, need some redeco for my room. maybe a sofa and a tv, hehaheahe.

later...

Staged Fall...

okay who watched qualifying earlier today? now was that last 16seconds of F1 the best move you've ever seen someone get pole position or was that gamesmenship at it's worst. Fernando Alonso and Kimi Raikkonen were on a hot laps and i think either one of them could have over throne Schumacher from his pole. just at the right moment and just at the right place on the track, Anthony's Nose, he 'losses', goes wide and has just stays there till the time ticks off. Schumi Schumi...i've been watching you for 15years and i know that was no Schumi running wide. someday he is gonna write his own biography and i'm sure this is gonna be one of the things he's gonna confess to.

okay, i'm a Schumacher pro, why am i complaining again?

pussy cat, pussy cat....where have you been?

wow, where have i been indeed...

so lets see where i am now..i'm still jobless but the job hunt is going well, lots of interviews and i seem to be impressing everyone of them (yet no one's giving me a job). i hope, no no no (confindence my boy)...i know i'll get a job soon, just a matter of time.

other than that...oh oh oh, meet Baby



she's the new addition to the family and don't be fooled by the size, she's only 7 months old. the problem now is to get Enzo to like her. he is a little, whats the word, anti-social. (i have no idea why isn't he trying to seduce Baby instead, dumb dog). here he is trying to get out of a scolding after messing up my brother's room. i drove up to penang last weekend and he slept like a baby on my mom's lap all the way, spoilt dog.



lately all i do is eat eat eat, me and Sarah have been going on a wild eating spree. though the both of us need to be on a strict diet but I.D.G.A.R.A., beside we've been doing her Marketing Strategy assignment on AirAsia for like 3 weeks now and i think its stressing her out (me as well). actually i think i'm slowing her down, heahaheahe, i'm such a devil.

i gotta blog more often, later...

sticks and stones...

last night when i was on the phone with Sarah and she mentioned how half the time i'm always talking about my company and how irritated i am about things there. i realized it's so damn true, i have no outside life anymore (not like i had one before, anyways), my mind is constantly thinking of what i am going thru in this hell hole and how i can jump ship or change the way things are. sigh, so sad.

on the other hand it does keep my mind off things which are far more worst than job satisfaction and money.

when i finished my studies i promised myself i wanted to work in my first job, minimum for atleast a year, no matter how conditions were. sorry to have gone back on my decision but if i don't do this i know i'll become another donkey pulling the cart of mortal life, i know i am destened for greatness and by god i will achieve it (ofcourse first i have to know what is it i want to achieve?).

you know its times like this when i miss my childhood the most, damn those fantastic good old days. growing up i had one of the best childhood a man could possible ask for, showered with love and pampered with gifts and toys. i still remember when i was like 5 years old i had a room filled with toys. didn't matter if i didn't pick my toys up, cause the entire room was literally filled with toys. i had like a gezillion matchbox cars, my fav was Lego. damn i miss building stuff out of Lego. me and my brother had gone bored out of building the stuff on the box, we'd use the parts and build something with our own design, suped up ofcourse, hehaehaheha...

my creative mind is being killed off here and i can't let them take away the one thing that is the most valuable to me, my mind. now seriously, i'm thinking, even if they do offer me something that i am satisfied with, and i do (for some unforsaken reason) decide to stay on, what will be my co-workers perception on me? is it worth it? am i going to be happy? will i be treated the same way?

in my life i have gained a lot and i have lost a lot, like they say, 'you count your losses and move on' or 'stay back and cry over spilled milk' and when someone reaches the stage of choosing between the two routes, it's hell i tell you, hell. even though we know which one is the wiser choice, GGAWWDDDD it's hell.

here's to a great childhood *raising my mineral water bottle.

later...

the winds of change...

so now they wanna hear our story...

a resignation letter is a powerfull tool. now i know why many people use it to get what they want. all of a sudden everybody is interested in knowing what is the story, they're sitting down and listening to my demands and problems. you know you're important when GM's are prepared to sit with you and hear your problems trying to convince you not to go. well i don't care, i know what i am worth, i know i am good, i know i can survive without this organization. i'm only gonna stay if 3 of my demamnds are met;

1. Job satisfaction
2. Higher basic
3. New contract terms

if not buh bye....

tomorrow they wanna have a top level management meeting with us at 4pm, then they'll make a dicision, wish me luck and lets hope they do some changes. well even if they don't, won't matter much i just make like a tree and FUCK OFF.

later...

resignation...

i know i might be doing nothing (again) for awhile before i get a new job but what the hell. i've submitted my resignation today and kinda feel very relieved. i told management every single thing i was disatisfied with, even how hot Melacca was.

wish me luck, hope i get another job in 2 weeks time. seriously thinking of going back to UK.

later...

Rottweiler vs German Shepherd

what do you think, which one should i get? i wanna get myself a big dog and these two are my choices, hmmmm...

good will hunting

and so the hunt begins again, the job hunt obviously. i promised myself i wanted to work at my first job for atleast a year despite how bad it gets but here i am searching for other jobs within 4 months. i have a valid reason...

i can slowly feel myself turning brain dead and slow. my dad once told me a story about how a merchant who had two donkeys to pull his cart to the market decided to speed up his journey, so he bought himself a horse and made the horse pull the donkeys. donkeys being the dumb, slow, stubborn creatures they never really got with the pace of the horse, at the end of the day, the horse started walking at the donkeys' pace. i am that horse now...

i feel like a over heated Type - R in race with a bunch of Datsun 120Y's. i went for an interview on friday, with a big American company, lets see if get that job, my fingers and toes are all crossed, i've even got my balls crossed...

AND I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT :@(

michellin man signing out, later...

day 2 of !@#$%^&*(

boring....

i went and checked out online prices for PDA phones. hey Ric, the Xda IIs is only RM29**.** and you know what, i'm actually thinking about it. oh and i was thinking of planning a trip sometime next year, how does Mexico sound? didn't realize it was gonna cost me 6K just for airfare.

oh oh oh, and i think somebody is surfing the net for porn with my PC. i hope i don't get into trouble for this. weird assholes la, go home and do stuff like this la, aiyooooo...

so this weekend i have to pick Enzo up from the vet, poor fellow got the 'snip snip' and he had his hernia op as well. my mom went and checked on him yesterday, she actually thinks he has lost weight in 2 days :@P

so my supposedly new boss told me this morning, i might be starting tomorrow earliest and my old boss is not as friendly as he was before, practically ignoring me, oh well I.D.G.A.R.A.. another colleague of mine (who is my housemate too) told me we might be given our bonus this weekend, and he told me, his sources told him, we newbies are getting it too (of my god i am gossiping, its like a virus).

i'm going for all my breaks atleast half an hour late just so i don't get sucked into this gossip frenzy that has swept my company like wildfire and yet here i am doing the same thing. wait, or is this called bitching, instead?

i also found that 'The Omen' is being released on 06/06/06 this year, gotta watch and ofcourse the much talked about 'Water Spirit' which opens this thursday, i wonder if its gonna be worth it. i thought 'Emily Rose' was really good, the fact that it was a true story gave it an edge too, just like 'Exorcist'. anyone wanna join me for a horror flick weekend? we can also drive up to every scary place in town. btw, Melacca is filled with cemetaries.

i just had a thought, next month, we'll have a day when the time and date will read 02:03 04/05/06. i remember blogging twice last year when it was 05:05 05/05/05 and 01:02 03/04/05, i really didn't have a life last year eh? and i was in the fucking UK!

and yet somehow i've not gotten far from where i was last year :@(

later...

!@#$%^&*(

ever since i voiced out my dislike of my current job, i've been doing nothing. due to the fact everyone knows i might be changing departments (or if god forbids, changing jobs altogether), no one is paying attention to what i do, where i go, who i speak to. this sucks.

i could sit all day at my desk and do absolutely nothing and no one will GIVE A SHIT!

see i'm the kind of person who wants first and foremost (besides a job), job satisfaction, i wanna come to work because i know i can contribute, i have something to offer, something to create, i wanna go home knowing i have actually done something gratifying, for myself and my organization. but i don't have it!

since money is not the biggest deal to me (don't get me wrong, i'm not fucking the Sultan of Brunei on the side or anything), i don't think pay should be an issue but for crying out loud don't pay me crap, which is what i'm getting!

i wanna come to work to meet my colleague's, talk about last nights game, Michael Schumacher's great move on the back marker, then dwell into work, group discussions and how we tackle problems one at a time. be real professionals, at work. i wanna be able to go out for lunch occasionally. i wanna an organization that DOESN'T STEAL OUR PUBLIC HOLIDAYS!

my organization, though it is stated in my vision and mission, 'Professionalism' NOT A SINGLE SOUL HAS IT! i somehow believe this company is a communist organization, cause we work 8-5, but they want us to come to work at 6.30, then go back at 7. then they wont pay us OT for the extra hours. then we have to work 48hours a week, so saturdays like this one, they call replacement for today FUCKING PUBLIC HOLIDAY. when it comes to public holiday it is my discretion whether i wanna work or not. YOU MOTHER FUCKERs DON'T TAKE MY HOLIDAY AND THEN CALL IT REPLACEMENT OFFDAY, WHEN IT IS SUPPOSE TO BE MY OFFDAY, just because the legal term says not more than 48hours per week.

this a company is made out of broad daylight vampires. Engineers are doing operator's job, operators are doing supervisor's job, managers are doing ball sucking jobs. i'm just gonna wait and see when they're gonna give me job that i'm capable of doing, i'm gonna sit here and wait. let them pay my ass for sitting. if i was a man with no intergrity, i would have kept my mouth shut and keep on getting paid for doing nothing but i went and voiced it out and now i am still doing nothing, your loss sucker!

pissed off engineers are very very dangerous, we know a lot of detruction methods. since they promised me next week, we'll see or else i am leaving, buh bye, sayonara assholes!

you are the one, Neo....

finding yourself in today's world is hard enough as it is, finding your place in this world? as we grow up, we realize we are a apart of a continuous cycle, as as bad as we don't want to be a part of it, unfortunately we are. even if you have to be dragged kicking and screaming, you are a part of it so get with the program.

as a kid my dad once told me, 'shake off the pain, and keep going...'. as a kid i was completely oblivious to what he was saying, 'what pain, go where?' i was only interested in Voltron and ThunderCats. seeing how Voltron nor ThunderCats are no longer airing, i feel the pain, and i'm moving...not on, just moving, its a start. sometimes we want our hands to held and to be led unfortunately, again, it ain't gonna be like all the time, so get with the program.

i could sit here all day and talk about how we all should 'get with the program' but eventually somebody will suspect there's a glitch with the matrix and they'd pull my plug.

i'm getting FAT!

later....

question....

did my parents spend 120,000 for my education, just so i could be doing hard labour? i should be creating, not maintenance!

(rings of the word KARMA...)

leap of time...

i have always feared my sins will return to haunt me, well i fear no more. i'm living my sins day by day, hour by hour, inch by inch i'm being eaten up on the inside. i wish there was a way out. i can't swallow neither can i spit it out. god halp me.

writing was my therapy while i was in the UK, honestly my blog was my best friend while i was there, i cried with my blog, i laughed with it, i actually felt with it. ever since i came home, (no actually ever since i started working) i've just lost the fingers to type. i need to start blogging more, keep my mind off things, off work too, sometimes...

i wish it was 1987 again.

MARUWA battle of the bands

this is my Woodstock baby, from 6.30am till 8pm daily...

we start out with little bands jamming to tunes till about 7am, then come the big guns, the Goliaths of hard rock to make their presence felt. i have my daily dose of a little Metallica, some RHCP, Maryln Manson, Corn even Guns & Roses made a come back.

ofcourse by the time all the bands are really heated up and all geared for the biggest showdown of hardRock history, the big daddy of underground music shows up. the Bad Boy of HardRock himself, some call him the dark disciple of Satan, i just call him Ozzy Osbourne....

for those of you who have no idea what i am talking about, come attend one of my morning meetings.

DeadMan, peace out, ROCK ONNNNNNNNNNNNNN.....

dog eat dog...

oh yeah baby, its genocide..

'Don't hit on my rice bowl' - Mr. Puru

so ever since there was a small reshuffling in my department, all hell has broken loose. Volcanic have erupted, especially those dormant ones. 'villages' torn apart and mostly, a whole lot of confusion.

my morning meeting was like a war zone. the battle was between two juggernauts in their own way, i felt like dwarf in the cross fire. seeing as this is my second month (wait, is it my third?) i shall continue to remain as dwarf status. knowing how radioactive i am, i shall stay clear of any flammable incidents. but i hate to be dragged into scenes that are so unnecessary.

i can only stress on one thing, PROFESSIONALISM...

we recite it everyday and yet, there is so much of it lacking. emotions and other crap should be left out, personal feelings should be overcome. everything can be settled just with a small one to one talk, but are you ready for this shit? its time for a change and the time is now, or we will all crumble together.

wish me luck, so far i've not been hit yet, then again everyone is afraid to hit on us cause we're the CEO's project, i love it when i get previledges, heahehahehe.

later...

Still feverish

its a beautiful day for a picnic with blue skies, sunny day.. *sound of a cd skipping

what the fuck is wrong, why so fucking hot laaaa, global warming in your face man. i looked out the window this afternoon and i could actually see the heat wave outside my car, shhhhiiiiitt....

and don't get me started on Melacca, fuck me trice its hot down there. i'm going blind when i step out of my section. the only good part about the whole thing is that my section, the room has to be maintained below 19C, so i freeze 3/4 then burn another 1/4, wait, whats so good about it again?!!!!

i just came home this morning, got up at about 7am and just drove back, got a speeding ticket, FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.....

the whole week i spent trying to increase communication and team work amongst my staff in my section, turns out there is a whole lot of back stabbing and pent up bad air flowing around.

'everything is a mind set problem' -Mr. Sinna (my new boss)

screw the mind set if you ask me, those who can't get along with the way things a shaping into, best they are given ONE last chance, then my friend there are loads of people out there who can whip and shape the company into a multinational company. we just made sales of RM8 mil last week on our shipment board and our target for the month is 20, at this rate i'm in for a raise, heahehahehae...

okay i'm gonna go take my shower and go have dinner with family, later...

and oh yeah, Ric and Shenn, stop pulling pranks on people, don't end up like the boy who cried wolf! (actually i know it was mostly Ric)

i'm sick

its always around this time of the year that i fall sick, and i fall sick quite bad, every year without fail. i've got a fever, not just any fever i've got 'the fever'.....yippiekae mother fucker, i've got the Formula One Fever!!!

11days left to Bahrain...

(hope my boss doesn't catch me updating my blog during work hours...)

do you believe in signs?

last night i thought of someone and thought maybe i should give her a call, then i dunno what came over me i scratched that idea...

this afternoon as i was meddling with my machine, on the measurement read out, i actually saw her number appear on the screen, perfect to the seventh digit, freaky...

hey big guy, what're you trying to tell me, call her?

been awhile

been quite awhile ehhh..

so whats been new, anyone else got married on the scene? jonny? you came down didn't even give me a call, and i didn't get my chocolates. Shenn and Ric, you owe me, i want a huge tub of Ben & Jerry's; indian not coming to anymore chinese functions!!!

you want the good news or bad the news first...

bad news, i got promoted...good news, i got loads of fuck work now, my mind has stop wandering about being in Melacca in the first place. i am the new Facility MAnagement Asst. Manager for my department. i dunno if it's 'fuck yeah' or 'FUCK HELL'. time will tell.

it's good to be back for the weekend, sad i be gone tomorrow. okay, gotta go bath and get ready to watch 'Million Dollar Baby', adios people and wish me luck, later...

p.s; if you're wondering how i got a promotion in just two months of working, I AM THAT DAMN GOOD...

what do you think is the ideal age to get married?

the past few days my aunty, uncle and my parents have been sitting in my house talking about how to get my brother hitched, seeing that he is 28 years old already. all of them say, 28 is the best time to get married, 'when he is 50, his kids are already working...'. tomorrow my friend Gopi is getting married and he is my age.

i dunno, if you ask me, age has got nothing to do with marriage. the having kids OF YOUR OWN is always where your age might play a huge role (actually the woman's age, medically speaking). i mean if you have that sense of responsibility, maturity, mind set to really grow old and spend the rest of your life with that special SOMEONE (emphasis on the ONE), to love, to give and sacrifice for your equal in life, than i guess you are ready, be it if you are 20, 30 or 60.

so to Gopi, goodluck bro, i know there are gonna be times when its gonna be worst than a train wreck, there are gonna be times when you can hardly look at each other but always remember what brought you guys together in the first place...love and cherish your (since you are getting married only tomorrow) future wife, women are always worth every bit of it.

i'm actually taking a break from writing my report for work, me and my big mouth i had to come up with so many ideas. now my HOD wants all of them to be in proposal report and audit findings and feasible report. oh well, no one said working life was gonna be easy, welcome the dog year by working like a dog i guess.

oh yeah, hoi apek?! what happened to todays plan?! FFK me again ah?!!!! tada guna punya cina!

later...