Invest in a woman

It's a great fortune to invest your time in a woman, especially a good woman. If you are an experienced man, you would certainly agree with me. Women are peculiar species. If you have succeeded in conquering her heart, she will ceaselessly sacrifice for you till the end of your life. Just think over, you just spend a little of your time to go out for dinner with her, watch a movie or give her a simple gift, or say a few words to touch her heart or you promise her that you will bring happiness till the end of her life, or take time to help her kill some cockroaches in the kitchen, or sometimes spend some efforts helping her to carry some heavy stuff, or to open the car door for her. Continue to do all the above things and care for her well-being for 2 to 3 years to come....

What do you get in return? You will be amazed to find that you have a woman whom would continue to care for your well-being for the rest of your life. She will wait for you at the door steps with a naïve and sweet smile each time when you meet her (of course, you don't get the sweet smile when you are arguing with her), nevertheless, she would still prepare a warm dinner for you after the heated argument has faded away. The greatest of all things she has done for her life, is to give birth to your child (of course, the unbearable pain need not be mentioned here). She would continue to care and feed the child that carry your surname for many years to come no matter how naughty your child would be.

On top of that, she also does the thing you that hated the most, i.e. doing housework, washing your clothes, sleep your child and tossing alone in the bedroom waiting for you at night for your return. For some of you, you would rather spend some time drinking with your friends at the bar and telling her that you have important assignments in the office, letting her to wait for your return in the living room till the wee hours of the morning .

When you are down, she will be the first to encourage you. When you are happy, she would be the first to feel for your happiness before you open your mouth to tell her by looking at your face. When you achieve some good results at work or assignments, she feels the happiness with all her heart and pray to God to protect and bless you with more successes in the future. Despite all the above, you repay her by asking her to talk less and tell her not to bother your work. You ask her to sleep when she wanted to spend some precious time with you sharing with some simple happenings of the day. Sometimes, you are too proud to take her out when you are out with your friends. Can you feel that the suffering that she has to endure for the next 30 years of her life staying with someone like you?

And for men, for the next 30 years, what do you do to repay her gratitude; you are only capable to continue to do what you know...to work. Please continue to appreciate the woman of your life..If you noticed that if there any women whom start to show some sacrifices to you, your door to the days of happiness has opened before you ..Please grab the opportunity to share the happiness with her and help her to be the man of her dreams..

i recieved this in an email today, anyone care to rebate this?

movie mania...

oh i finally watched all the blockbusters...

Shrek 3, watched
Pirates of the Caribbean 3, watched

and a shocker,

Surf's Up, watched

which brings me to the fact the dude who plays the voice of the lead character in Surf's Up is Shia Labeouf. the dude plays the lead in Disturbia and Transformers. now how many summer movies did this guy make?

on a totally different note, is it just me or is Hilary Swank hot. i mean you don't see much of her on the covers of magazines like Angelina Jolie or Beyonce. okay, it's just me then. i think Hilary Swank is hot.

oh yeah, and another one of the Kensettians is getting married. oh man, i'm definitely getting old. and i was reminded to get a date for Ric's wedding. few things to scratch out this time around; no.1 don't be the only indian in a chinese wedding. no.2 if i am, then bring a date and no.3 don't wear a black suit.

French Grand Prix...

the last one at Magny-Cour???

well it was well worth watching Ferrari charge back to the front (in your face McLaren). it was also amazing to see Michael Schumacher at the pits, now the official word is he is the teams race advisor, sort of like a mentor to the drivers and the race directors but the unofficial word is that he is secretly testing the car and heavily involved in the car set-up for raceday. i dunno, could be true (boy i wish he is back into the corkpit of a Ferrari)

but i'll be honest, since last year i've had a new admiration for Fernando Alonso. he is definitely the new 'no guts, no glory' drive of Formula One. every season there's bound to be one and for a very long time, we finally have one who is making it stick.

back to the title, if this is the last Magny-Cour race, definitely will miss it. Michael Schumacher won his championship there it 2002 beating non other than the man who took over his seat in Ferrari, Kimi Raikonen.

while i waited for lights to turn green

After watching Transformers, i drove back and at a traffic stop, i turned and noticed my vacant co-driver seat; i loved her, and so did she. (i'd like to think) circumstances tore us apart. now she is married and i still am stuck in ruck.

that was how i've always ended the conversation as to why i'm still single or explain my tattoos. to be honest it's always questionable do i still love her. to some extend i still miss her very much. i miss the time she held my arms and leans over my shoulders. i still remember when i took her to watch 'Lord of The Rings 3'. she was in a very mushy mood i guess. she made me feel like 'the worlds greatest catch' guy that night. holding on to my arms, telling me how she'd loved me from day 1 and will never stop, starring into my eyes and asking me if i loved her. i miss that. i miss squeezing into a single bed and holding onto her. planting my nose into her hair and my fingers into her bellybutton. i miss her touch, i miss her skin, i miss a lot of things about her. it's been 3 years now and i still ask myself if i still love her. knowing she has moved on with someone else and happily married, probably planning a family, can i still stand here and justify that i can still love her?

here it is; i guess i will always love her. she was my first love and will forever remain special in my heart. asnwering that question, i ask another; how do i move on from here?

i've made peace with the fact she will never come back to me. it was never mine in the first place. i've moved on and focused my life on things that are more material. getting a degree, getting a career. starting a life i'm starting to enjoy. but the continuous search for a replacements seems to be there. i don't want a replacement for her. thats not possible. i'd like to find someone new, someone whom i'd love and cherish for all the wrong or good reasons but be it for the reasons she makes and not ones that i justify with what i've lost.

the void left in me by her will never be filled, the pain and joy she left behind will never fade. unlike the world (which is very very small) the heart is a vast space just waiting to fill. we overcome sorrows by the thought that someday there will be joy and in time we feel the pain lesser and lesser. we find new people in our lives, we make new friends, new enemies. we set new goals, we even buy new toys to keep us busy. but the gapping void will never close, 60 years down the road, when you're senile, you will...i will ask myself the question, how would have my life been if i would have married her? and thats when it matters most. cause at that very moment, if can look back and say i'd trade everything just to relive the life i've chosen and lived until today, then i can cleary say, my purpose was well served. but today the gloomy thoughts of what if when that day comes and i say instead; 'i'd give it all up just to look at her brown pearly eyes just one more time'

...what then?

my topsy turvy battles to push the black hole i've suffered into recession has lead me to many new pages of turmoil, laughter, hate and anger, tummy tighteners and wonderful joys of bodily union. and sometimes i sit back and i tell myself, i like this and i want this for the rest of my life. i want this 'God's creation to hold my tv remote' to be by my side, everytime my eyes closes and everytime it opens. but i dunno if this is how she feels and honestly i doubt if it even resembles the slightest similarities. i've often wondered how valuable i am to the people i'm surrounded by? am i just an expandable asset, who once peaked it's depreciation value is not worth having around? or am i truly irreplaceable? i've often drawn the conclusion i'm just a very good page turner thats not worth a second read. as pathetic as that sounds i've not given up the fight for all the good things. i mean, who needs companionship when you have Butterscotch?

i've grown very affectionate to my family and my dogs over the last 2 years. i've seen a side of me thats really ugly and one that should never come out of the closet ever. i've seen the length of measure in me grow to things i'd hardly thought i'd do again for another woman. woman are indeed special and they do wonders to a man and i quote my hero, Col;

"Women! What can you say? Who made 'em? God must have been a fuckin' genius. The hair... They say the hair is everything, you know. Have you ever buried your nose in a mountain of curls... just wanted to go to sleep forever? Or lips... and when they touched, yours were like... that first swallow of wine... after you just crossed the desert. Tits. Hoo-ah! Big ones, little ones, nipples staring right out at ya, like secret searchlights. Mmm. Legs. I don't care if they're Greek columns... or secondhand Steinways. What's between 'em... passport to heaven. I need a drink. Yes, Mr Sims, there's only two syllables in this whole wide world worth hearing: pussy. Hah! Are you listenin' to me, son? I'm givin' ya pearls here."

i just love that movie, for one reason; it tells you life is always worth living, no matter what. just too bad, in reality i'm at the part where i yell out....

"I'm in the dark hereee....!!! you understand? I'm in the dark!!!"

okay i think after that line, there's no point in writing anymore. but i do somewhat remember her saying this to me when we had an argument once, 'stop living in movie lines...this is the real world!'

A Speech in Hyderabhad

Why is the media here so negative? Why are we in India so embarrassed to recognize our own strengths, our achievements? We are such a great nation. We have so many amazing success stories but we refuse to acknowledge them. Why? We are the first in milk production. We are number one in Remote sensing satellites. We are the second largest producer of wheat. We are the second largest producer of rice. Look at Dr.Sudarshan; he has transferred the tribal village into a self-sustaining, self-driving unit. There are millions of such achievements but our media is only obsessed in the bad news and failures and disasters.

I was in Tel Aviv once and I was reading the Israeli newspaper. It was the day after a lot of attacks and bombardments and deaths had taken place. The Hamas had struck. But the front page of the newspaper had the picture of a Jewish gentleman who in five years had transformed his desert into an orchid and a granary. It was this inspiring picture that everyone woke up to. The gory details of killings, bombardments, deaths, were inside in the newspaper, buried among other news.

In India we only read about death, sickness, terrorism, crime. Why are we so NEGATIVE? Another question: Why are we, as a nation so obsessed with foreign things? We want foreign T. Vs, we want foreign shirts. We want foreign technology. Why this obsession with everything imported. Do we not realize that self-respect comes with self-reliance? I was in Hyderabad giving this lecture, when a 14 year old girl asked me for my autograph. I asked her what her goal in life is. She replied: I want to live in a developed India. For her, you and I will have to build this developed India. You must proclaim. India is not an under-developed nation; it is a highly developed nation. Do you have 10 minutes? Allow me to come back with a vengeance. Got 10 minutes for your country? If yes, then read; otherwise, choice is yours.\

YOU say that our government is inefficient.
YOU say that our laws are too old.
YOU say that the municipality does not pick up the garbage.
YOU say that the phones don't work, the railways are a joke, the airline is the worst in the world, mails never reach their destination.
YOU say that our country has been fed to the dogs and is the absolute pits.
YOU say, say and say. What do YOU do about it?

Take a person on his way to Singapore. Give him a name - YOURS. Give him a face - YOURS. YOU walk out of the airport and you are at your International best. In Singapore you don't throw cigarette butts on the roads or eat in the stores. YOU are as proud of their Underground links as they are. You pay $5 (approx. Rs. 60) to drive through Orchard Road (equivalent of Mahim Causeway or Pedder Road) between 5 PM and 8 PM. YOU come back to the parking lot to punch your parking ticket if you have over stayed in a restaurant or a shopping mall irrespective of your status identity... In Singapore you don't say anything, DO YOU? YOU wouldn't dare to eat in public during Ramadan, in Dubai. YOU would not dare to go out without your head covered in Jeddah. YOU would not dare to buy an employee of the telephone exchange in London at 10 pounds (Rs.650) a month to, 'see to it that my STD and ISD calls are billed to someone else.’ YOU would not dare to speed beyond 55 mph (88 km/h) in Washington and then tell the traffic cop, 'Jaanta hai main kaun hoon (Do you know who I am?). I am so and so's son. Take your two bucks and get lost.' YOU wouldn't chuck an empty coconut shell anywhere other than the garbage pail on the beaches in Australia and New Zealand. Why don't YOU spit Paan on the streets of Tokyo? Why don't YOU use examination jockeys or buy fake certificates in Boston??? We are still talking of the same YOU. YOU who can respect and conform to a foreign system in other countries but cannot in your own. You who will throw papers and cigarettes on the road the moment you touch Indian ground. If you can be an involved and appreciative citizen in an alien country, why cannot you be the same here in India?

Once in an interview, the famous Ex-municipal commissioner of Bombay, Mr.Tinaikar, had a point to make. 'Rich people's dogs are walked on the streets to leave their affluent droppings all over the place,' he said. 'And then the same people turn around to criticize and blame the authorities for inefficiency and dirty pavements. What do they expect the officers to do? Go down with a broom every time their dog feels the pressure in his bowels? In America every dog owner has to clean up after his pet has done the job. Same in Japan. Will the Indian citizen do that here?' He's right. We go to the polls to choose a government and after that forfeit all responsibility. We sit back wanting to be pampered and expect the government to do everything for us whilst our contribution is totally negative. We expect the government to clean up but we are not going to stop chucking garbage all over the place nor are we going to stop to pick up a stray piece of paper and throw it in the bin. We expect the railways to provide clean bathrooms but we are not going to learn the proper use of bathrooms. We want Indian Airlines and Air India to provide the best of food and toiletries but we are not going to stop pilfering at the least opportunity. This applies even to the staffs who are known not to pass on the service to the public. When it comes to burning social issues like those related to women, dowry, girl child! And others, we make loud drawing room protestations and continue to do the reverse at home. Our excuse? 'It's the whole system which has to change, how will it matter if I alone forego my sons' rights to a dowry.' So who's going to change the system? What does a system consist of? Very conveniently for us it consists of our neighbors, other households, other cities, other communities and the government. But definitely not me and YOU. When it comes to us actually making a positive contribution to the system we lock ourselves along with our families into a safe cocoon and look into the distance at countries far away and wait for a Mr. Clean to come along & work miracles for us with a majestic sweep of his hand or we leave the country and run away. Like lazy cowards hounded by our fears we run to America to bask in their glory and praise their system. When New York becomes insecure we run to England. When England experiences unemployment, we take the next flight out to the Gulf. When the Gulf is war struck, we demand to be rescued and brought home by the Indian government. Everybody is out to abuse and rape the country. Nobody thinks of feeding the system. Our conscience is mortgaged to money.

Dear Indians, The article is highly thought inductive, calls for a great deal of introspection and pricks one's conscience too.... I am echoing J.F. Kennedy’s words to his fellow Americans to relate to Indians.....

'ASK WHAT WE CAN DO FOR INDIA AND DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE TO MAKE INDIA WHAT AMERICA AND OTHER WESTERN COUNTRIES ARE TODAY'

Lets do what India needs from us. Forward this mail to each Indian for a change instead of sending Jokes or junk mails.

Thank you,
Dr. Abdul Kalaam

I’m not of the same nation, but stand facing the same accusations. maybe it is time to stand and fight for what we deserve here in our own country than run like a coward else where and brag about how great that nation is, but the question will always remain; Is it worth it?

go fucking watch....

TRANSFORMERS

everybody...take the bunching underwear out of your butts and go freaking watch it. if you've never watched it as a kid, you'll still love it, if you loved watching it growing up, then you'll freaking fall in love with it, again!!!

okay okay...probably i'm over reacting cause i just loved it when Optimus Prime said;

' Autobots, roll out...'

and they got the actual voice (well not really actual but sounds like it) from the cartoon. and they took lines from Transformers The Movie, when Megatron and Prime battles it out;

Megatron: [surprised] Prime.
Optimus Prime: One shall stand, one shall fall.
though i doubt this was in (but it was in Transformers The Move)...
Megatron: Why throw away your life so recklessly?
Optimus Prime: That's a question you should ask YOURSELF, Megatron


oh i'm in love, if it wasn't for my freaking shoulder, i'd go watch it again and again....

The Later Years

are here to party, stay and happening everyday from 6pm till dawn at The Joint, Subang....

now occasionally i don't take too well to pubs or cafes that easily. i mean only a few. for instants, Tattlers at Hartamas (which have long closed), Sega's at Penang Ferringi Mall, Finnegan's at Midvalley, Roadhouse Grill at Jln Ampang. but i dunno, something about this pub makes me wanna go back there everyday. i also like the music there...it's like they're playing my entire CD collection.

the band is not bad too, there's another bunch of guys who are kinda good. i mean i loved the songs they played that one night we were there....


well this band tried to get their salsa act right, they were there, close, but not quite there yet.


being us, we had to call upon the band lead singer and buy her a drink, for what i have no idea. none of us seem like the type to buy women drinks just to take them home or whatever. we're more the type, the less drinks we buy the women, the more booze there is for ourselves....


such a small place and it gets really cramped up by 9pm. it can get crazy to to even step into the bathroom and crazy is not necessarily a bad thing.


now, according to Harry, on mondays their bartop is filled with dancers and it's like a Coyote Ugly scene, once again, being us. we need to imagine these women doing the coyote ugly dance sequence...not helping much without the wet T-shirt though.


i kinda got lost in the whole plot along the way...


i mean who wouldn't...


and when you step into the mens room, they flash your eyes with this...


nice place, but sometimes i feel like i'm too old for this sort of place. fast cars, fast women, fast drinks, loud noise...all i want is a Guinness. but when you think about it, all the men who go there, gulps down all that fantastic booze for a fantastic price as well, then look at all the pretty women serving them with smiles and grazing the men as though to tease them. indirectly their just doing all the mens wives a favor. well this is from my point of view; their gonna get high, their gonna get tipsy and horny at one point and their gonna start hitting on all this women. but the downside is this women are gonna say 'no' and the men are either gonna go home and give their wives the best darn humping they've ever had, or sleep it off in the parking lot on the back seat of their Mercs, while their wives are giving some young bloke the ride of his life. either way, what a way to spend a night out.

i wanna go back to Tattlers. where the Guinness was just right. the barmaids were not there to get you drunk or tease you. and when it's all said and done, the DJ plays an 80's S.P.B. song just for all his loving Indian customers, leaving us to explain the song to our ever bungling Chinese friends.

The Wonder Years

have all gone by...

a monumental week has just gone by (well it's 'monolithical' in a few sense)...well for one, so many huge blockbuster movies have opened in the last weeks and i, me, the great movie buff of all time have not gone to watch even one of them;

Fantastic 4 (Jessica is bloody hot, i'm gonna marry her one of these days...)
Shrek 3 (and i love Shrek too, i'm gonna marry him too)
Pirates of the Carribean 3 (even so, i could be gay for Jonny Depp)
Ocean's Thirteen (it's got Alfredo 'Freaking' Pacino in it!!! he says a line in a movie and i'd cum for him)

and today Trans'FARKING'formers opens. i'm a huge fan of the cartoon, i could name you all the names of the characters, in freaking reverse alphabetical order...*phewww...thank god i've got tickets to go watch this one, or else i think i'd pop a blood vessel.

okays, here is the other reason why it's been a huge week. Ric and Shenn are now officially engaged. he proposed and she smacked the shit out of him for suprising her, then eventually said yes and couldn't stop starring at her ring, while i had to wait a whole hour trying to get into position before i could finally get everything on film (you guys owe me one!). she now officially clocks a walking speed of 1.2 karat slower than the average woman. todays show has been brought to by the letters 'M', 'O' and the number '3'...


a friend of mine from my college days, Gopi is now a father. yes, on tuesday at approximately 11am he and his wife Uma became parents to a healthy baby girl. same day i get that news i get a phone call a friend of mine from my Uni days in UK, are parents too. they too have a healthy baby girl....

Marriage, kids....?

ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

back to kindergarten

when we were growing up, if one of our friends said a nasty slur or a vulgar language, we'd all close our mouth and 'hooooohhh...you said a bad word...' and now that we're all grown up we've been exposed to the world and we're considered matured adults, we realize and acknowledge the appropriate language to be used. but how about graphics? where does the bodderline, and who is the judge? if a narrow minded BASTARD sits at the top of the chain and considers everything knee and above obscene but goes home and tells his wife to put on the victoria secret he bought her for christmas, aren't we all doomed?

is this appropriate? is this considered pronography?



i was asked to remove this from my wallpaper or to be given a warning letter. so lets analyze this picture for a while. now imagine if she was wearing a bikini (a really skimpy one) which is something we see on the tele almost everyday, how is that considered to be pornagraphy? okay, another thing to really look at this picture is the message and not focus on the woman who is standing there. ofcourse when you ask someone to filter out stuff like this, we need to give him guidelines which reflect on the reality of the world we live in. we need to understand where we are and where has our acceptance evolved to.

so can i say that a woman dressed in a bikini is considered explicit material? the whole issue of sexual harassment has been blown off proportion and is losing it's grip on it's cause. so from now on, just to spite people, this is my on my desktop;





sometimes i feel Flextronics is becoming a Kindergarten, for fuck sakes act your age and be grown ups. don't say it's offensive if you really don't believe it's offensive, don't just jump on a bandwagon and spread a propaganda which is has no factual support.

Road to discovery (no, not the Camel Trophy!)

My JB trips have been one to definitely write about (though i took so long, trust me, it's worth it!) so i imagined it'd be one of those Maruwa Makan Maruwa Machi gang hooking up to discover our lives after Maruwa. well it turned out better than i had planned. exception for the FARKING JB traffic (and my frequent runs to the bank to pay my bills, in which btw, thanks prem for driving me).

so here is how the day started (or ended, should i say). we all met up in Larkin at about 10.30pm and by midnight we had gone thru a case of Heineken's. i'm talking those big bottles, and by 2am we had attacked a poor innocent tree with our access fluids (we'll take that into good grace, since it's dual active fertilizer).

so the next day, James (a.k.a. Holy man) goes to church, JB decides to show one of it's heaviest rain downpour (i'm guessing it had something to do with James going to church). Prem getting lost in his own city, and me growing ever so tired of the FARKING JB traffic. well atleast before the night had ended we had seen our fair of booze and really hot women dressed up really skimpy.

so what have we learnt; Live After Maruwa....

1. These two are still craving homosexuals


2. He is still the bitch in their sick twisted relationship...


3. We were hanging out with an authentic 'Uncle'...


4. He hates John Daniels...(WHY????!!!!)


5. And he sleeps with his hands between his legs (only god knows what he is dreaming about)


under oath, i solemnly swear none of the pictures above were doctored in any form or manner and the narration is purely fictional/personal observation and is not to be taken truthful in the court of law.

p.s: you bitches, when are we gonna do this again (minus the John Daniels part)?

the curse of 31

i never learn my lesson. taking her to BR is like taking the devil to a bloodbath. well she seemed fine after the first scoop.


but after the second, something changed...


then i knew, something was wrong when the two flavors had mixed inside her.


and the rest as they say is history (repeating itself)!

We went to watch Shivaji

but there, we found out the Simpson's had adopted Appu's long lost brother. and we thought they couldn't get any more dysfunctional.

how do pocupines mate?

very carefully (which i am not) or very unsuccessfully (which i am great at)

the comfortable feeling of solitariness is very discomforting to me. it's sad that i prefer to be alone these days. i'd rather just stay in, watch a little tv, surf the net or worst still, sleep in early. is it that i don't want to meet new people or is it i can't afford? i've been hit with bad luck when it comes to the matter of the heart and to be honest i'm starting to be okay with it. i mean, it's not like even if it last it stays the same. but i was just thinking last night how i've grown comfortable being alone.

one dowside though, i hate eating alone....

going down to JB this weekend, to meet James and Prem, Maruwa Makan Maruwa Machi weekend. lets see how it goes. i really liked the place we hanged out the last time. it was called the Zone. well it's no KL but the location and everything put together was really nice. i was thinking maybe life in JB won't be that bad after all, eh? i mean cheap booze and hot women, what else could a porcupine ask for?

so this is how it all went down...

it was suppose to be dinner and maybe a beer or two. dinner sucked and beer became Ballentine's and the rest as they say is history.

See no Evil


Hear no Evil


Say no Evil


hey wait, i am a sinner! whats all this nonsense about Evil and no no's...

i do...

a lot of talk about marriage lately surrounding me...a bunch of friends getting married this year, planning they marriage next year, talking about getting married, a couple of colleagues in a few months time. last week i was talking to another friend and when she asked me when am i getting married, i gave her the usualy answer; 'i am far away from even thinking about marriage...' i loved her reply; 'thats what men say, next thing you know, wham bham....' so we men get conned into marriage ehhh?

the top 10 cons men fall into marriage;

10. my parents want us to get married
9. your mom asked me when are we getting married
8. my brother is married, now my younger sister are gonna get married and me?!
7. i'm late
6. my dad wants to speak to us, about the baby
5. you're the father
4. astrologically if i don't get married now, i probably never will...
3. my biological clock is ticking
2. now that you can afford the car....

and the winner

1. bla bla bla...i'm getting older...bla bla bla...i need a sense of security...bla bla bla...clock ticking....bla bla bla...i've never been late....bla bla bla...you've never appreciated me....bla bla bla...all men are the same....bla bla bla...nag nag nag...you mother, my mother, your father, my father, my brother, my sister, my cousin, my best friend, my worst enemy all married, wanna get married and asked me when am i getting married...bla bla bla...(and it goes on till he gives up and says yes but eventually she'll say no with the reason you're just asking because i made you ask, i want you to 'want' to ask, which NO MEN EVER WANTS...)

"It's a damn good show" - Ricardo Ang

all the while I've been saying the biggest gay shit movie was Alexander until yesterday. I've officially changed my mind. the new biggest gay shit movie has got to be, winning hands down, Blades of Glory.

it's fucking hilarious and full of gay shit stuff. Will Ferrel and that guy from Napoleon Dynamite who play Napoleon (gotta go Google his name up). not exactly what I'd call a well spent 9 bucks. if it wasn't for the Amsterdam Pie, last night was a complete waste.

Devil, let me be Red

i've been a really bad Manchester United fan this year. i've missed at least a dozen games and never really went along with them for last season. yeah i watched a couple of important matches, fended them off from a bunch of morons but suddenly yesterday when they lost the FA cup i felt i had let them down.

it's a sports thing...

Hot Wheels

i gotta bone to pick with television.....

you know how in reality tv shows, realize how the wives of all the contestants are like super hot! well i'm not really a fan of reality tv shows. shows like Fear Factor, Survivor, Amazing Race and other are like the lowest humanity can go on live television so to watch it, i feel like an idiot. but recently (ever since they introduced Discovery Real Time on Astro) i've been watching a lot of reality tv shows concerning on bike build offs and car refurbishing, one for example is OverHauling.

now naturally all the cars they use belong to men and all their wives are their insiders and man. i'm like he has 1965 Chevy Impala and he's got a hotty for a wife too???!!! well here is the thing i can understand that their on tv and of course there's bound to be loads of cosmetics involved but dude, all of them we're like seriously pornstar category, 100%MILF.

i'm seriously on the wrong continent!

turn your lights down....

i certainly took my time to blog about this....

last weekend i went down to JB on an interview cum vacation sorta weekend. i wanted to impress my 'could be' future boss, meet some old friend, meet some new friends. partied like it was 1999, drive over to Singapore and maybe do a little shopping.

well, didn't really pen out the way i want it to...

one thing i have to talk about. can see hands of people who have driven down to Johor before (at night)? what is wrong with those freaking morons? every single god damn asshole was driving on the freeway with the freaking highbeam on! and i'm not talking about normal sedans (obviously people living in Johor are pretty rich) we're talking Merc's and Beamers and all those new fancy sports cars with all those HID light. what do they call it, crystal headlights? man i reached in one piece but blinded like a bat.

well that was the start of everything going downhill, everything else was just descending from then on and i seriously hope the interview didn't go that way either.

This week's wallpaper

MotoGP hasn't really been the same without Michael Doohan, but this guy has made it pretty exciting for the past few years.

Visvan's farewell

Sitting Row (left to right) : Jason, Visvan and Heng the Fartenator
Standing (left to right) : My ex-boss Siti, Jasman Jamarei (that is the coolest name ever), yours truly, Subra, ever cute Hana (thought she was twelve when i first joined) and last but not least my two ever reliable Equipment Engineering guys Zam and Zaihan.

what can i say about visvan, who will always be known as the man who played badminton with his boxers (pictures are available upon request)

Destination: Unknown

next month and it'll be a year since i've joined Flextronics. wow, how does time fly? i feel as though it was only yesterday i was busy sending out resumes (well, not that sending out resumes has stopped anyways).

to be honest there is a lot of things i can be learning in this company but unfortunately 3/4 of the time engineers here are fire fighting that we seldom have the time to learn something new and interesting. oh well, no point bitching about this. like i've said time and time again, the grass is always greener on the other side. every establishment you end up in you find shit, just in different shades of them.

i wonder if i'll ever start up my own business? always wanted to be my very own boss. run things the way i want and answer to nobody but myself. that way if i screwed up, i'll know i screwed up and have no choice but to take full reponsibilities for my actions.

but seriously these days everything starts to get old very quickly, aint i right? i mean you do something for a day and it feels as though you've been doing this for years and just want out. the world is moving so fast that it has moved past humanity. i was talking to Sarah yesterday and she was telling me how her dad talks to her about hardship all the time. i always wondered why is it in human nature to always want others to suffer just because we did? i mean take our dad's who always tell us, that they use to walk 3miles to school everyday and we are driven to school, remeber this old dialogue you dad use to give you when you were in school? here is the question you should ask your dads; 2000 years ago mankind ate raw meat, have they ever done that?, 1000 years ago mankind walked from one continent to another. why about 100 years ago people used horses as mode of transpotation and today we only hear the talk of horsepower??? things change and if they think we're not learning hardship then they are seriously mistaken. dude it is hard enough to stay alive this days. it's different from back then. they suffered from a different cancer than the ones we're going thru these days. every parent should understand that.

when we were a kid, they tought us how to ride a bike, have they ever wished we'd fall and hurt ourselves just because they did. answer is; no, so why is it they talk about hardship? they should embrace failure as part of life and not outcast children for their failures. let them lead their lives the way they want, you've done enough by giving them an education and nuturing them to become who they are today but now is time to let them bloom into what they aspire to become. it's time for you parents to become spectators and watch their childrens lives take flight. if it crashed, wait till your children ask for help to pick up the pieces, don't intervene and remind them how you knew it'll all go up in smoke.

these days i'm bored with life. even though my insomnia period is wearing off the affects of staying up late just thinking about stuff has taken its toll. i have no aspirations anymore, no direction. we reach a stage where we just wanna make money, i think i'm there. which seems so empty and futile. where do i go from here?

p.s; i'd make one rotten parent too

This week's wallpaper

is it just me or does she seem hot after winning Big Brother?

"it's complicated"

everybody is familiar with friendster these days, right? you know how the have your status and how you can choose whether or not you are single or divorced. my favorite is the 'it's complicated' choice. but i need to get one better...maybe friendster can add 'it's fucked up'...or 'fuck that shit'.

tomorrow my dad is turning 60, happy birthday Dad.

i've got no mood tp blog anymore, maybe tomorrow...

grow a set

i wish everybody would grow a set of balls and just say what the fucking hell it is they wanna say!!! you have some message to convey to other put it in the exact words you actually want it to be heard and don't go all 'home deco' on your sentences, trying to make it all sound so nice and dandy as if you being nice. especially managers in Flextronics, yeah you bunch of bozos, if you are reading my blog i don't give a rats ass.

this is my blog and if i wanna dish out some genuine bitching phrased up in my own words, then it's my wish 'you fuck with me, then you're fucking with the best!'. already you guys got no balls to make decisions, causing us to do the fire fighting, no wanna go all noble and caring... bull'funky'shyte!!! no i seriously mean, every single one of them can kiss my brown ass.

you wanna tell me to shut the fuck up and do as you say, just come out and say it, least i'll respect the command you have over what the hell you want. don't come to me and say, it should be what i want to do as well. cause my name doesn't start with A.K. (ass kisser).

goodnight everyone and fuck you too...

p.s; not exactly going to bed but sounded more cooler to end that way.

leave???

the thought of leaving the country....?! and why not?

one reason why i should pack and leave again, just one is all i ask for (and the guy who comes up to me and says family is gonna get his balls clipped off)

Eyes wide closed

my GM has started of his blog and has been sending out invites to read his blog, i wonder if i should do the same? heahehaeha...and for the past few day my blog was a restricted website. am i competetion?

i wish i get to sleep more, this insomnia is killing me. last night i went home and though i could sleep there but didn't work, whether i'm in Subang or Melawati it doesn't make a difference. i haven't slept since last night and just came to work at 5.30am! i look like shit and i can feel my eyes being swollen. it's weird how every year without fail i get this. it stays for about 3 months or so and then it goes. i have not had it ever since i started working last dec, till now that is. it was so much easier during college days.

my boss is being quite, i mean quite understandin about it, lets see how far i can hold this up or till my body fades out. i prefer working flexible hours, i come in, do my thing and leave within the required working hours. shyte man..Flextronics is not Flexible, even though their new tag line is Fast and Flexible.

i've always wondered everytime i blog, especially about stuff like this whether i can get sued? it is my blog and i'm entitled to say whatever i want but ofcourse we're talking about letting internal information and stuff. i mean it's not like i'm letting out confidential stuff but you know? can i get sued for defamation? wait the fuck minute?! do i really give a shit, you wanna sue, for what? i'm broke....

i wanna sleeeeeeep...!!!

This week's wallpaper

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

(can't think of a title)

i dunno what's worst, suffering from insomnia and not being able to sleep or thinking about something thats not gonna happen the whole time i'm awake?

okay, before all that....

not exactly what i'd call a perfect Grand Prix weekend. dispite the fact that Massa drove (according to Steve Slater) a champions race i still think both Ferraris' had (and have) the pace to obliterate their rivals but both drivers' seem to be in a phase where by whatever they get seems to be enough for them, correct me if i am wrong (Formula One Fans)?

i mean is there no hunger to gun down the car infront of you anymore? putting aside the fact that your engine has to last the next race in Barcelona, putting aside the fact that the last stint of the race was run on hard compound tyres, putting aside the fact you are nursing some sort of technical disadvantage, (i can go on and on) but putting aside all these factors i saw a more gutsy drive from David Coulthard in the entire race then any other drive on the track. which puts validation to my allegation that is no more character left in the sport. lucky for us very few there was one brave soul willing to take the risk (in style), Nick Heidfeld taking on Alonso on the outside but even that i'm willing to put heavy money on Alonso not wanting to have a dog fight on his hands.


back to routine bitching...

when was the last i watched a chinese movie? some fire monkey movie with Ric in 1997 if i'm not mistaken. well i just spent my night by watching one, the actress had a pretty face (thats all i'll say about it).

sunday was a Sarah's graduation and no one else even say a word. it was at Shang KL. i must say though i remember Shang being bigger somehow but then again can't remember why. anyways it always help to have someone who has put on the robe before doesn't it. having graduated before i always wondered whats the big deal about graduation day. i had a big sigh of releaf on my graduation day even though it wasn't really a tough to get through. but it was nice to have your name being called out and you get the small aunce of recognition, i guess.


anyways,

tomorrow is back to work. i tell you if i had a penny for everytime we had an indecisive situation cause by management, i'd buy Queensland by now. the phrase 'Line them up and give me a badge and gun' comes to mind but when you are an engineer, shit comes in all sort of shade and form. suck it up and live with it (of course until you promoted into a manager and become a rootcouse to the shit yourself).

1980....

maybe i'm not being understood or maybe i'm not understanding people?

i know i'm not being totally honest with myself and others. there are some i wanna share my feelings with but can't, then there are some i wanna tell off but i can't either. i wanna cry but can't either. i know these days i've become very paranoid. i question myself more and more these days, i question my motives, i questions other people's motives to the minuscule of possibilities.

i'm over reacting, i'm over imagining things. i've become to a stage where i don't really trust anyone. each time someone says something, i shake my head but often ask myself if this person is telling me the truth.

i dunno why but today i have the guts to say this, i think i'm in love but i'm afraid with someone who doesn't love me at all. i dunno but i'm afraid that i'm going to crash abd burn like i did before this time i don't have tears left. i believe once again, i'm falling into a depression but i know i can't allow this to happen. the first signs are already here, i'm tired, not sleepy at night. i think about her all the time and lose concertration on what i'm suppose to be doing. and worst still i can't face up to her and tell her.. the story of my life....

Any Given Sunday

undoubtedly the worst sunday i've ever had...

i dunno if i am just being paranoid but somehow the creepy feeling that i'm just being taken for a ride...the feeling that i'm just being used by people is just shadowing behind my shoulders. a voice inside of me says; 'give it up, fighting is futile'...

am i just being used? is that all i am worth to everyone? i tell myself that i will claw onto every inch of my dignity if i have to but if this is all i am worth, then what? how do i go forward from here? just let bygones be bygones?

enough about me...

anyone else care to comment on Formula One yesterday? all i'll say is; 'I MISS MICHAEL..!'

This week's wallpaper

Smell the smoke and money...

couple weeks back when i met up with mohan we were talking about memories and one particular subject that we touched on was the memory of smell. i dunno if everyone gets this. a certain smell, a certain scent can trigger certain memories to just emerge out of you sub-conscious mind.

my Ex-girlfriend use to put on this very particular type of perfume and recently someone in the office has started using it and i tell you a sort of weird feeling pops up, like my stomach is gonna get inverted out. i really can explain it. but the feeling is definitely a sad one.

same goes, a couple of nights back when i went back home, my mom gave me this throw to use at night and this was the exact one i used when i was in UK. the smell of it, just triggered all the nights i spent there. sad ones and good ones, all at ones. this was even wierder i tell you.

which brings me to the very point of, you never really get over wounds, they never heal. they forever remain with you. in time you just get imune to it and move on. until something like this triggers the pain. like an old war wound that acts up during the winter (hehaehaehe, nope i don't have an old war wound. but i do have a 27 stitch long wound on my right arm and no, it doesn't act up [yet]).

okays...gotta get back to work.

p.s; something about work that i'm starting to enjoy it more, AND I WANT A RAISE!

This week's wallpaper

Denial - Acceptance - Mourning - Recovery

the easiest stage of them all is Denial, cause in some sick twisted way you are happy.

but my particular favorite is Recovery. reason being it all depends on how well you Mourn. cause the mourning stage have lots of sub stages, there's the sad part, there's the anger part, there's the confused part, there's the happy it ended this way part, then there's the remorse part and slightest of deviations in the way you feel throughout the period could mean you get stuck on just one stage and never leave till it's time to more to Recovery. which in terms spell disaster for your next undertaking.

and sometimes i wonder if i Mourned well? because these days i noticed i've become a bigger bastard than i was way before and it's not a very nice feeling you get when you jerk'like hurt someone and go back feeling completely no remorse. i dunno much la but i always try as much not to hurt other people and you know what? these days i do, a lot, on purpose...

maybe i got stuck on anger during my Mourning? or maybe i haven't even finished mourning yet?

(ALARMS AND SIRENTS RING OUT>>CODE RED)

The Author Guinness Tribute weekend

before i start just wanna give a shout out on behalf of James and Yoga;

"Prem, you bastard, you bastard, you bastard!!!"

it was nice to meet yp with James and Yoga last weekend. saturday was purely a good drink up day man. has anyone realize that a pint of Guinness is now 26bucks (the old Raj would have just paid). but it was all worth it man. it's pity that they don't have drought Guinness in Melacca and so Yoga and James have never tasted the vanilla like finger licking taste of the Guinness foam. in James' own words; 'it's like licking a tender pussy, balls!'

we went clubbing afterward and ended watching scene after scene of people provoking a fight and preliminary squabbles but no one person did fight. there was this girl who was yelling that a guy fondled her in the club and the boyfriend was yelling outside that he wants to bitch slap that bastard but he himself was falling all over the place. another bumped his head on a car after yelling too much and passed out, and another bunch of guys just shook hands after a lot of 'HEY'S tosed around.

we malaysian really need a lesson on how to club from the british. i've been clubbing there and i rarely saw fight. cause you know what they did after getting pissed drunk? they just puke and vandalize public property and end up spending the night in lock-up for a misdemeanour.

btw...

anyone watched football last weekend? Man Utd rocked man. well i kinda knew they'd take vengence on Blackburn for last year but my biggest match was Arsenal being gunned down by Liverpool 4-1. man that was hilarious. oh well you win some and then you lose some.

on a seperate note, Happy Birthday Thanes.

something about mary

if someone questioned you whether or not what you are doing or did is right, how would you react?

if it was me (okay laaa, it is me) i'd just forget about it and go about what i was doing. reason being i'm too strong of an individual to stop and bother how others feel about the things i do/say. i know i sound like a bona fide SOB but this is who i am. but then again i've always regreted hurting those who have come close to me and i do wanna say it's not what i wanted.

is it wrong to give your sanctity the utmost importance. is it wrong to say, i wont let myself get hurt? and i can say that i am hurting inside, old wounds have not healed and new ones are layering over it already.

on seperate note, i was talking to Mohan last saturday. everything he said made sense, well he said a lot of things but the one things that stuck in my mind was this, my old blog was good. he would read it again and again but this one (my new one) is crap. i guess in someways i was a better man in the UK cause that was the time i was going thru my Acceptance and Mourning stages. and during my recovery stage and i come back here, i've become a bigger bastard than i ever was. deep down that soft Raj still exist, i'm just finding it hard to bring him back out. i dunno why...maybe cause he is still busy crying and missing someone.

"can't blame your narcissism..." - Ros

am i changing the way i look too much?

Crack, crack...Thunder Crack, cracked my ZZZZZ's

i've always been a guy who is not easily frightened (okay, not really laaa) but last night i was freaked by the sounds of thunder and the flashes of lightening. i am serious, the thunder literally scared me out of my boxers (another reason to sleep in the nude). it sounded like the thunder was right outside my window and the lightening was gunning for me. am being paranoid? but, no wait, when was the last time you were scared of a little rain and thunder and lightening? when i was 5, 4 maybe less. maybe it's something else, maybe i was AFRAID OF THE DARK?

sigh....

okay, you know i gotta blog about this (no way in hell is there gonna be a blog of mine without talking about Formula One). before i start typing about the Australian Grand Prix, i need to quote someone;

"I'll never miss watching Formula One but i miss Formula One" ~ Navein

so Ferrari are off to a fyling start. the Iceman was so dominant that at every stint he managed to pull a full 17 to 16 second gap between himself and second place man, which to no suprise to me was both McLaren drivers. no bad run from the rookie, Lewis Hamilton. and then of course (i can believe i'm gonna use this word ) the defending world champion Alonso drove another champions drive, not giving an inch and not taking an inch more than he needed to (very Schumacher only?). which brings me to Massa (another word i can't believe i'm using), the Ferrari veteran, from last to 6th, not bad or bad? all in all i thought he did an amazing job at fighting his way till he reached behind both factory Honda's, and then he determined his place out of the podium by staying there. and then after that, once again he drove a solid QUIET race (mind you, quiet is not the way to drive if you wanna grab the podium spots). despite the fact that he was fueled to the brim, i think the Ferrari had the edge over Renault (of Fisichella) which Massa finished behind. but then again, 1st race of the season, you wouldn't wanna risk everything to gun for the chequered flag, unless of course you think in the lateral (and once again the name Schumacher comes to mind) way of the single of points make the tiniest of difference at the end of the season.

so after all the hints i gave in the first stint of my review about Formula One, enough of the Australian GP, time to talk about the quote above;

Michael Schumacher laft a void in Formula One. yes many will deny it, cause all they wanted was to see this aging giant walk out of the sport, thinking it'll give the sport an opportunity to grow out of the Senna, Prost, Hill and Schumi era. hate to disappoint them, IT'LL NEVER!

drivers come and go every year but Legends make their mark that (opologies for the word) stain the sport for life. yes i agree there is no one player greater than the game but the likes of Michael Jordan, Tiger Wood, Pete Sampras, Babe Ruth, Ayrton Senna and Michael Schumacher the sport was not big enough to contain them. they grew too big to fast and stayed there too long. i'll admit watching Formula One last weekend was exciting, Kimi gave us one hell of a show but the anticipation before the race was not there. the thrill during the race was not there. it was all yay yay but no argh argh argh...

i'll forever be a Tifossi, no doubt about that and i cannot imagine myself giving up on the sport that has tought me so much about life itself. but something was gone and probably never get it back in it's true original form. and now being a Formula One obsessive-compulsive disorder patient, i have to find my cure in recognizing myself with another character to fullfill the urges of speed and victory, spills and thrills. but i still wanna put my finger up and claim something has come out short.

in short, Formula One; it has everything a race needs, it has everthing to a great season building up to new contentions, it has everything except the Michael Magic was we have far too often come to recognize with.

i know exactly what you mean Navein....

Waiting On The World To Change

By John Mayer

Me and all my friends
We're all misunderstood
They say we stand for nothing and
There's no way we ever could

Now we see everything that's going wrong
With the world and those who lead it
We just feel like we don't have the means
To rise above and beat it

So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

It's hard to beat the system
When we're standing at a distance
So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change

Now if we had the power
To bring our neighbors home from war
They would have never missed a Christmas
No more ribbons on their door
And when you trust your television
What you get is what you got
Cause when they own the information, oh
They can bend it all they want

That's why we're waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

It's not that we don't care,
We just know that the fight ain't fair
So we keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

And we're still waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting waiting on the world to change
One day our generation
Is gonna rule the population
So we keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

the cekap'os, the mental'os and the crack'os

the cekap'os

300, awesome movie. a bunch of new faces which eventually all of it get severed off. amazing battle scenes (typical epic battle movie) but i particularly loved the scene where Leonides had to battle with this ugly (and i mean bad ass mother fucking ugly) kinda 8 foot giant with a face that can scare the shit out of a Rottweiler. i went with a bunch of colleagues (so Ric don't get jealous).

the mental'os

have you guys realized lately that the tollgate personnels are getting more and more prettier. don't get me wrong, no discrmination intended. but seriously i've been noticing the toolbooth women are getting hotter and hotter day by day. or is it just me?

the crack'os

i've been over spending and seriously need smakc my hands everytime it reaches for the plastic burried in leather.

Sports update...

Liverpool 0-1 Manchester United

O'Shea at stockage time, bend over bitch

ladies and gentlemen, meet Teddy....

she just got herself a cool hair cut and a new hairclip, isn't she just simply cute.



i miss her (damn did i say that out loud)...



oh btw don't they look like twin sisters, i actually have another picture but i kinda know if i post that picture Sarah would literally kill me, hehaheahe....

101st reason why I'd never get a Dalmation

something really funny happened to me last week. for CNY i went to a friends place (that part was all nice and dandy) but he had a dalmation. i have no idea what ran thru that dog's mind but suddenly it decided it had the need to hump my leg. oh man it was really funny.

maybe it could have smelled Baby off my clothes...

this weekend me, Ric and Ashlin went to for lunch and just dropped by at Eleanor's new store in Bangsar Shopping Village. Eleanor, sorry we just couldn't help ourselves. i think we ruined her business for the day (or maybe business just is that bad), heahehae. don't blame us, i wanted to go back and sleep after lunch, it was Ash's idea that we should stop by and say 'hey'. i ended up buying a really cool pants (NOT from her store) though.

weekends' over, time to crawl back into the gutters of the working world. i don't think this week is not gonna be a crazy one, have a good feeling about it. don't really have anything going on. well, who knows whats gonna pop up, when and where.

i might wanna take friday off, got somethings to do and i'm still so sleepy. everyday i go home all i wanna do is sleep but i don't really do that. fuck me trice, i am really sleepy. i just wanna sleep for one whole day, without any interuptions or any care of anything (which i highly doubt).

holidays and weekends...

remember back in your schooling days, you'll be counting the weeks before the next holiday? i guess somethings never really change when you become a working adult huh....

it was Deepa Raya, then Christmas/New Year, then Thaipusam and now even CNY has passed. no more long holidays man. ever wish you could take a year off and just sleep at home (omg, memories of the past!!!). i still remember the time when everyone used to tell us during college days, cherish your sleep, while we were out partying till the break of dawn. today trying to squeeze a minute or two here and there just for a little snooze.

sad man..anyways,

on another note i'm excited, reason being i'm gonna fall sick. yup the only one who is happy when he gets a fever. cause it's not just any fever, it's the Formula One Fever. argh argh argh, it's starting in a few weeks time man. it's never gonna be the same without Michael Schumacher but hey, i think it is gonna be interesting. i think this is one sport where the player became bigger than the game (lets not go where Beckham went, yet). Schumacher has dominated the game since 1994. even on his last season he was a tittle contender at the age of 38, cool man. but he made a really wise decision. it would have been sad for such a champion to be still driving when he has nothing left to push himself besides he has nothing left to prove (been there, done that, bought the wet panties). i guess if i was (never gonna happen) i'd rather be a retired world champion sitting at home than a wash out champion on track.

lets see how Kimi Raikkonen favors in a Scarlet Prancing Horse. pre-season test results, , pre-season test result show that the Sauber BMW is the fastest car to line up on the grid thus far!

no more working on weekends for me (actually only on Grand Prix weekends, i'm still pathetic that way).

Third Eye Blind (completely nothing to do with what i'm writing below)

hello bloggie...

long time i haven't come over to bitch about my ever on going battle with myself.

so...

have you guys out there ever realize how expensive food has become lately. i dunno but seriously does a steak really cost 30bucks? or a burger (despite the fact that it was glazed with jack daniels) cost 30bucks? okay i know i'm talking fine dinning here but a Char Koay Teow also cost 5 bucks these days, inflasion man. it's a comspiracy i tell you. it's a conspiracy by all the fast food chain restaurants who actually owns all the poultry farms, hence owning the delivery of eggs, meat. they sell them at a very high price but they just transfer credit among themselves when they sell it. KFC and McDonalds coming up with more value meals but my favorite Char Koay Teow is coming to the price of one snakc plate.

(okay i know no one is buying my story, because i myself am not buying it)

damn....

besides work i have got no life. wait, i met up with my cousins last week for a really nice night out, which ended up with awesome bah ku teh. and it's been back downhill ever since. pathetic i tell you, pathetic.

snooze...(again)

i'm so fucking sleepy...

automotive expense

as i sit here waiting for my car, once again i notice how malaysia has been taken over by Toyotas' (i'm on of them).

i had a great weekend since Wednesday, enjoying the Penang crowd for thaipusam. the coconut breaking session was the best. ended up just my family trying to break about 500 (could be less) coconuts. we got tired after the first 50. there is a certain unwriten sort of time limit. before the chariot arrives, you have to be done and minutes before the chariot actually arrives, this mini bulldozer scoops up all the coconuts shells clearing the path for the chariot. here's the thing, we were breaking even past the guy scooping up coconut shells.

everything was great, the food was excellent, the music was loud and the indian women got all dressed up for the guys to look at, wonderfull

but....

my car windshield cracked...

no strings...

Question: How do you tell when you've reached the end of the road?
Answer: You crash into a pile of junk left behind by people who didn't know the road ended either!

bottomline is, you crash, does it make a difference what you crash into. then again, the moment you start second guessing whether or not the road is going to end soon, you should bail out. from the stuff i've been writing about for the past week or so, any idiot could have dedcuted that i'm insecure and doubting the relations i keep/have/start with others.

work is great, the sort where nothing is going my way, nothing is easy and there is a pile of shit on my table or waiting to drop on my table but making me feel like an actual working adult, buit just have a shitty job and cool apartment, sort of makes me feel a little empty now that i've secluded myself with doubts and delusions of persecution. don't get me wrong but i do still hang out but i realize my mind is always holding back.

as to why i've started being not totaly honest, i can figure out myself, oh well, sometimes i can never really figure out my mind. my mind has a mind of its own. and it actually runs thing. i'm just the puppet.

wonder who is the puppeteer

journey reviewed, and i've been served

a lot is going on...

the directions that we get blown into.... on purpose? coincidental? chain reaction of your own doing? fate? i'd go with my own shitty doing, must have been something i did to have end up where i am. i'd rather take the blame of everything that happens in my life that way at least i'd have the illusion of control.

we seldom ask ourselves what led us here but only to rush for the ultimate question, how do i get out of here. so many times i've wonder am i like on purpose ramming into walls at high speed or is it my probatory nature. somehow or in some weird sort of way i probably think everything that happens is justified (don't ask how).

i was talking to Nadia a couple of days back, and she said something which kinda remained in my head;

'the love we have for our god is different from the ones we emotionally feel toward others'.

and to be honest i have no idea what this means. i look up at him and say; 'you treat me this badly and still you want me to love you, oh screw you man, you really do have a thick skin don't you?' i've been in and out of faith from the turn of the millinium and honestly i would know how to define religion, faith, TIG what ever it is people call it these days. ohhh forget it... am i a nice guy? i don't know. used to think i was one stuck up SOB. i'd probably bitch slap myself if i met myself (in some weird polarized 7th dimension). but i can easily get used, can't i? these days i get tje feeling everyone is using me. no one is sincere anymore, am i paranoid or have my insides gone rotten?

oh btw, what do you think these (thought of getting one next month)








Celtic is the way to go and i was thinking of getting it on my arms. nope, it carries no significance what so ever. maybe i just need the pain to put the boot back in arse.

and another thing, does anyone remember this british pop group from the late 90s' called Steps. they made cover albums for ABBA songs, well i was i was browsing the net for song lyrics and stumbled upon Steps, not a bad looking british women, eh?



okay...i gotta go check my work now...fuck you too world!

later....

NPI

always wanted my own project...

(Be careful what you wish for!)

or

(Eat that, suckerrrr!)

Mythologically Babelicious...

okay it's official....

i'm in love...

was browsing the red carpet pictures, well beside Catherine Zeta Jones...(okay scratch that statement), if a guy takes the time to save the picture he finds on the internet, you know it was a hot babe.

Campaign for Real Beauty

i think this is one of the most honest ads i've ever seen, finally an ad with natural women. i remember seeing on tv in th UK, then ofcourse i come back here and it's all the pretty thin chinko women who make the screens.

what's been up, lately...

btw, have i mentioned; i've moved into my own place now.

yeah man, i have a Bachelor Villa already (still in USJ). so far it's very unfurnish, just my bed and couple of my stuff. need to get it furnished before we can throw our bachelor parties. oh btw we have an orgy room (have completely no idea why *innocent face).

man i feel like eating loads and loads of Chilli's whipped potato. have you tried it, i think it's the best in town. RoadHouse Grill is not too bad either. okay, it's official i'ma pig, getting fatter and fatter. i really need to get back on the treadmill.

work's so far so good. but sometimes it's getting stale, doing the same thing. i remember when it was the 'Sanyo' days as i call it. everyday was a new adventure. but who knows, i have a new project coming up and once again me and Jason are teaming up again. should be pretty interesting (i hope).

oh btw, i haven't introduced Teddy to you guys have i, i bought Sarah a Shit Tzu. she named her Teddy because she looked like a cute tiny little teddy bear. she's scratching herself a lot, gotta take her to the vet and see if anything is wrong.

these days i don't have much to write about huh? no controversial disputes from my behalf, being the loud mouth, pointing out the obvious rebel, thats pretty suprising. has the system beaten me? have i given up on voicing everything out? have i become another statistic?! i think all i need is a little rejuvenation. maybe a little time off from things and come back with a vengence. or maybe i'm just getting old, in which case is WORST CASE!

.....

oh yeah and since my boss has started reading my blog;

gee whiz, isn't she the greatest...

*fake grin

time passes...

so quickly...

everyone is checking for wrinkles or married. damn, it's our 10th year after leaving high school and yesterday meeting up with the guys, we were going, 'he's married, so is he, yup...him too'

aiya sudah tua la...

on another tone, DeadMan's Whistle still haunts.

the end

another year has gone by, man that was fast...

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!!!

(if that is remotely possible)

hmmm...

so finally i'm a confirmed employee of Flextronics, just got it last week friday.

my boss says she is more than satisfied with my performance, almost impressed. though i know my performance is slumping. i can see myself going down the drain and i can say two possibilities;

1. drained
2. bored

neither is good.

worst still if i'd went with option 3. drunk. been heavy on the bottle lately. so last night i did another all nighter and just showed up to work suprisingly instead of feeling moody, i'm all chirpy and excited to go get some.

weird, i'm not a morning person......

bachelor villa

this finding a nice apartment to live in is a little tricky business eh?

i guess you guys know i'v moved out from my place in Melawati and moved in Subang. this place of mine well at first when i saw the place i loved it (dunno why). i guess i fooled by the view and the environment of the place. but tell you the truth the place sucks.

the other tenant has the place and he has kept it in really bad condition. so i'm moving out, again.

found this really nice place in Subang as well, this one is really cool and this time the whole place is mine, MUAHAHAHA...

you know what this means right? bachelor party!!!!

(Taking a deep breath)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

confirmation...

it my confirmation period next week.

and now is the time people wanna test you to see if you'll break. i guess thats why i've been really really busy for the past two weeks. but i think i've proven i'm unbreakable (we're not talking health wise). i know i can handle pressure better than anyone else. i bitch and i complain but i can take it. to be exact, pressure keeps me on the edge, more competetive, so i get things done more effective and efficient.

speaking of efficiency...

Overall Equipment Efficiency (OEE) is a huge thing in the manufacturing world. it a way to measure how well the company is suing their investments (man and machine). to be honest to you, i really expected a company like mine to have already implemented this back in the early 2000. guess what, they're just starting. the one thing i'm really impressed with this company is that it is a giant and usually giants are afraid/hesitant of change, but not this giant. man things change within weeks, i'm talking manufacturing concepts, which a certain organization has come to grow into, all this are ever changing. i guess now i know why this company focuses on more change motivation trainings for their employees.

heahehae...