no strings...

Question: How do you tell when you've reached the end of the road?
Answer: You crash into a pile of junk left behind by people who didn't know the road ended either!

bottomline is, you crash, does it make a difference what you crash into. then again, the moment you start second guessing whether or not the road is going to end soon, you should bail out. from the stuff i've been writing about for the past week or so, any idiot could have dedcuted that i'm insecure and doubting the relations i keep/have/start with others.

work is great, the sort where nothing is going my way, nothing is easy and there is a pile of shit on my table or waiting to drop on my table but making me feel like an actual working adult, buit just have a shitty job and cool apartment, sort of makes me feel a little empty now that i've secluded myself with doubts and delusions of persecution. don't get me wrong but i do still hang out but i realize my mind is always holding back.

as to why i've started being not totaly honest, i can figure out myself, oh well, sometimes i can never really figure out my mind. my mind has a mind of its own. and it actually runs thing. i'm just the puppet.

wonder who is the puppeteer

journey reviewed, and i've been served

a lot is going on...

the directions that we get blown into.... on purpose? coincidental? chain reaction of your own doing? fate? i'd go with my own shitty doing, must have been something i did to have end up where i am. i'd rather take the blame of everything that happens in my life that way at least i'd have the illusion of control.

we seldom ask ourselves what led us here but only to rush for the ultimate question, how do i get out of here. so many times i've wonder am i like on purpose ramming into walls at high speed or is it my probatory nature. somehow or in some weird sort of way i probably think everything that happens is justified (don't ask how).

i was talking to Nadia a couple of days back, and she said something which kinda remained in my head;

'the love we have for our god is different from the ones we emotionally feel toward others'.

and to be honest i have no idea what this means. i look up at him and say; 'you treat me this badly and still you want me to love you, oh screw you man, you really do have a thick skin don't you?' i've been in and out of faith from the turn of the millinium and honestly i would know how to define religion, faith, TIG what ever it is people call it these days. ohhh forget it... am i a nice guy? i don't know. used to think i was one stuck up SOB. i'd probably bitch slap myself if i met myself (in some weird polarized 7th dimension). but i can easily get used, can't i? these days i get tje feeling everyone is using me. no one is sincere anymore, am i paranoid or have my insides gone rotten?

oh btw, what do you think these (thought of getting one next month)








Celtic is the way to go and i was thinking of getting it on my arms. nope, it carries no significance what so ever. maybe i just need the pain to put the boot back in arse.

and another thing, does anyone remember this british pop group from the late 90s' called Steps. they made cover albums for ABBA songs, well i was i was browsing the net for song lyrics and stumbled upon Steps, not a bad looking british women, eh?



okay...i gotta go check my work now...fuck you too world!

later....

NPI

always wanted my own project...

(Be careful what you wish for!)

or

(Eat that, suckerrrr!)

Mythologically Babelicious...

okay it's official....

i'm in love...

was browsing the red carpet pictures, well beside Catherine Zeta Jones...(okay scratch that statement), if a guy takes the time to save the picture he finds on the internet, you know it was a hot babe.

Campaign for Real Beauty

i think this is one of the most honest ads i've ever seen, finally an ad with natural women. i remember seeing on tv in th UK, then ofcourse i come back here and it's all the pretty thin chinko women who make the screens.

what's been up, lately...

btw, have i mentioned; i've moved into my own place now.

yeah man, i have a Bachelor Villa already (still in USJ). so far it's very unfurnish, just my bed and couple of my stuff. need to get it furnished before we can throw our bachelor parties. oh btw we have an orgy room (have completely no idea why *innocent face).

man i feel like eating loads and loads of Chilli's whipped potato. have you tried it, i think it's the best in town. RoadHouse Grill is not too bad either. okay, it's official i'ma pig, getting fatter and fatter. i really need to get back on the treadmill.

work's so far so good. but sometimes it's getting stale, doing the same thing. i remember when it was the 'Sanyo' days as i call it. everyday was a new adventure. but who knows, i have a new project coming up and once again me and Jason are teaming up again. should be pretty interesting (i hope).

oh btw, i haven't introduced Teddy to you guys have i, i bought Sarah a Shit Tzu. she named her Teddy because she looked like a cute tiny little teddy bear. she's scratching herself a lot, gotta take her to the vet and see if anything is wrong.

these days i don't have much to write about huh? no controversial disputes from my behalf, being the loud mouth, pointing out the obvious rebel, thats pretty suprising. has the system beaten me? have i given up on voicing everything out? have i become another statistic?! i think all i need is a little rejuvenation. maybe a little time off from things and come back with a vengence. or maybe i'm just getting old, in which case is WORST CASE!

.....

oh yeah and since my boss has started reading my blog;

gee whiz, isn't she the greatest...

*fake grin

time passes...

so quickly...

everyone is checking for wrinkles or married. damn, it's our 10th year after leaving high school and yesterday meeting up with the guys, we were going, 'he's married, so is he, yup...him too'

aiya sudah tua la...

on another tone, DeadMan's Whistle still haunts.